Business Casual

Whoever decided that Business Causal was a good idea was a sadist.

In the olden tymes one wore office attire. For ladies this meant hose, heels, skirts, blouses and in the days of Malloy, a big, floppy bow made out of a scarf. Our handbags were small, since we didn’t have to carry anything electronic around. We looked nice.

Gentlemen wore suits, and took their jackets off in the office. Their shoes were bought at either Thom McCan or at Florshiem. There was a synergy in the world. We knew what was appropriate in our environment, and it was good.

I date “Business Casual” to the late eighties. The first time I encountered it was at a week long training session in Washington, D.C. The attire was to be “business casual” for all except one day, for that we had to be dressed in “office attire.” I went shopping trying to find appropriate items.

One thing I remember was a dress and jacket that I bought at Banana Republic. The dress was a fitted shift, with wooden buttons down the front, a band at the small of the back, anchored with wooden buttons and the jacket was the same design as a denim jacket, complete with snaps, but in the same floral as the dress. I also had to buy shoes to match.

I loved the outfit, but let’s face it, there was NEVER an appropriate occasion to wear it. First of all, don’t buy a dress with buttons up the front because you are only a movement away from disaster. First the button goes flying, then people can see your underwear. So it’s no good for work. You can’t wear it to a club, it’s a bit too casual. I spent $135.00 on the outfit and I kept it for a decade. I might have worn it twice. More’s the pity.

I showed up in our Nation’s Capital with the most astonishing assortment of clothing. None of it quite right. I kicked myself when I saw a colleague of mine wearing her suit skirts with turtlenecks all week. It wasn’t quite right either, but at least she didn’t go out and spend thousands of dollars on shit she’d never wear again. Dammit!

That’s the problem with “business casual” there’s no good definition of what it IS. I can tell you what it’s not.

Jeans
Hot Pants
Track Suits
Raggedy stuff
Sneakers
Juicy Couture
Tennis Dresses
Club wear

Men LOVE “business casual” because they have a uniform: khakis and a golf shirt. How easy is that? Buy five pairs of pants and assorted shirts and you’re covered. One suit for when Corporate comes to visit the office. Done.

Women could conceivably wear khakis and golf shirts, but it’s not really comfortable and it doesn’t look all that nice.

So here we are twenty years after the phrase was coined and it’s very difficult to find any American business enforcing an “office attire” policy. I remember when I worked for MCI and we showed up in our suits at a warehouse for a sales call. One of the wags working a forklift announced our arrival, “Hey Joe! The FBI’s here!” Ha. Ha.

When I worked for BellSouth in Nashville, Friday was casual day. That meant you could wear jeans. Technically our office was “business casual” but my boss wore a suit four days a week, “dressing for the job he wanted.” (The joke was on him though; the guy in the job he wanted wore short sleeves and no tie.) He hinted that his direct reports should also “dress for the jobs they wanted.” I threatened to come to work in a bathrobe. Didn’t go over too well.

It used to be that when you were in sales that you dressed like the executives you were meeting with. Hence the suits. But now CEO’s wear flip-flops and cut-offs. So you have to find a happy medium. There’s a medium alright, but I’m not sure I’m all that happy.

So what do I wear to work? Lots of comfortable outfits. I don’t wear pantyhose any more. Although I have a drawer FULL of them, just in case. I wear slacks and blouses, skirts and blouses. Cute little dresses, with sweaters, in case the A/C is too cold. I have lots and lots of outfits now, more summer clothes than winter clothes, but a nice assortment just the same.

One thing I’ve noticed is that what we spend on clothing hasn’t changed, but the amount and quality of that clothing has changed. We used to spend significant amounts of money on high quality suits, paying to have them tailored to fit properly. I asked someone in a department store how much they charged for alterations and I got a blank look. Because of the expense we had fewer outfits, but they were of much better quality and lasted for more than one season. The same with shoes. Now our expectation is that our clothes and shoes are good for one, maybe two seasons, then we’re off to replenish our wardrobes with more disposable outfits.

Now we buy more off the rack. The looks are faddish, young and frankly a bit cheap. I do okay at rotating things out of my closet that I don’t wear. My rule is that if I didn’t wear it last season, it’s gone. An item in my closet is usually there for 3 years. Although if it’s too trendy or too crappy looking I have no problem donating it to charity.

I like summer clothes better than winter clothes. In winter I have to wear pants which aren’t as comfy as skirts, because you can’t go bare-legged in cold weather and tights and hose look weird nowadays.

So why is it that I shop, week after week, chasing down one last item to make my wardrobe perfect? I wish I knew.

Consultants. Parasites.

Our company is of the size where it is attractive for the PTB (Powers That Be) to buy shrink-wrapped software solutions. We have inventory that is tracked with RFI and associated software. We clock in with one program. We manage our sales contacts with another. We cobble reports together from Excel spreadsheets stored and updated on the shared drive.

On one hand, it works, on the other, it’s completely dysfunctional.

I have the power of perspective. Coming from a very large company with many legacy systems, some nearly 50 years old, I know what real, honest dysfunction is.

It’s a matter of adoption. I get the impression that my employer has ADD when it comes to technology. We dabble a bit with this, check out a bit of that, and most people have the opinion that if you wait long enough you’ll never have to deal with the current technology, since we’ll be onto the next cool, new, thing.

Our IT guy wants to shift from one Customer Relationship Manager to another. This is where the “consultants” come in.

My previous experience has been that Consultants are hired, dispassionate third-parties who evaluate your current systems and make costly recommendations that the PTB choose not to do.

This week we’ve had the Consultants in, and they are, as Morbo says, “Numerous and Belligerent.” Well, maybe not belligerent, but certainly biased. Should we be concerned that they are a Microsoft Platinum Partner?

We spent 10 hours in a room with them, each department giving a presentation explaining their operations, their ‘pain points’ and their wish lists for the prospective new software. It was incredibly professional. We hauled out the big projector, put the presentations on animated PowerPoints and catered breakfast, lunch and snacks. People flew in from all the different offices to be here.

The Consultant contingent was comprised of 5 people. FIVE! Is that how many you need? Really? We sat there discussing the things that frustrate us and they took copious notes. Then they put it on the flip chart paper, tore it off and posted on the wall. I felt like I was trapped in a cheesy sales video. “Now how would you prioritize these issues?”

I piped up and asked, “Gosh, this seems so integrated, shouldn’t we be looking at an ERP (Enterprise Resource Planning) instead of a CRM? The head Consultant smiled indulgently at me and said, “Well, yes, I think that’s the direction we’re going in.” Yuk. If it’s an ERP then we’re 24 months away from anything usable. In the meantime, I’m studying up on how to add to and upgrade our existing CRM. Two years is a ways off in the future and I’m not banking on anything.

20 Thing that have changed in business in the last 25 years.

As I was replacing the toilet paper in the stall just now, it occurred to me that a LOT has changed in American business in the past 25 years.

I started my actual working life at MCI in April 1984, exactly 25 years ago. I had three years of college behind me and I dropped out due to dismal grades, depression and the desire to move with my family in California, rather than remain in Arizona, alone.

I had taken a series of odd and temp jobs with an eye towards something more permanent. I searched the want ads in the Sunday paper and I saw an ad for a Customer Service job, starting at $6.00 per hour, part-time, with benefits.

I had a system for answering ads back then. I eschewed the dinky or amateurish ad, preferring the ones obviously placed by larger corporations. I mailed them a copy of my resume and got a fairly prompt phone call in return. I put on a navy blue skirt, a white blouse and drove the circumference of the Earth to get to my interview.

(I’m looking at all of the anachronisms in just the past two paragraphs. Wow, I’m old.)

I aced the interview and thus began my foray into Corporate America.

Here is a list of stuff that has changed. Some things have changed for the better, some, not. It’s random, just as I’m thinking of it.

1. Janitorial service used to be every day, not just one day per week. That meant you could put really stinky stuff in your trash can and the guys would just take care of it for you. Also, mopping, sweeping, vacuuming and all that other stuff would occur, so you wouldn’t have crud under your feet when you were working.

2. Office furniture used to be really ugly and uncomfortable.

3. Dumb Terminals were used to display computerized records. The screen was black and the text was either green or orange. Turn it off at night or else an image would burn into the CRT.

4. There was no email. Seriously. Memos were distributed on paper, by someone. The first email I ever used was MCIMail. It wasn’t windows based; you had to start your email with slash codes and stuff. You couldn’t send one to anyone who didn’t work at the company.

5. There was a lot of goofing off. It wasn’t dicking around on Facebook, or updating a blog, but it involved walking around with an empty manila folder, as though you were on your way to someone important with something important. You would stop in the break room and BS with someone there, chit-chat with your buddies, or just go outside for a minute for some fresh air.

6. There were a lot of committees back in the day. At the phone company it was called the Sunshine Club. Monthly contributions were made and the committee would see to it that you had cake on your birthday and presents for weddings and births and flowers for funerals. I’m still conflicted about whether or not I miss this. I do miss assembling in the conference room for cake though. No one does that any more.

7. No one would look at you twice if you ordered a glass of wine at lunch. Make it a bottle if you were with a customer.

8. You could smoke at your desk. Even in California.

9. Your boss was your boss. Not your semi-equal colleague with different responsibilities. He or she was higher up on the totem-pole and you knew all about the chain of command. There was not an open door policy.

10. Watch your personal calls. It was the office phone and the office phone bill. There was a phone in the break room for local personal calls. Except that Rick was always on it, talking to his wife about some stupid shit.

11. My headset weighed about six pounds.

12. Word processing was in its infancy, the first program I learned was Word Perfect and when I printed, it came out on paper fed through the printer on two spools. You had to tear the ends off of your paper and separate the pages where they were perforated. There was one font, it was ugly.

13. You could only use the Word Processing for big projects (or for my homework after 5:00 PM.) If you need to type something, you can use that Selectric over there. Oh, and my MS Word doesn’t recognize Selectric as a word. Fuck Me.

14. One of the guys in the office sold coke. No one saw this as a problem.

15. You had to dress up in office attire for work, including pantyhose and heels. (If you were female.) You could wear slacks, if you could find them. Men had to wear long sleeved shirts and ties. Malloy’s Dress for Success made the work day long and uncomfortable for many, many people.

16. The work day was actually 7.5 hours, 9:00 to 5:00 with an hour for lunch and two 15 minute breaks. Try and leave at five now and some smart ass will say, “Working Half Days?”

17. There were a lot more people working then. Typists to type, mail room types to deal with correspondence, receptionists to answer phones and route calls, secretaries to see to the needs of the bosses. Now titles may sound better, but you work twice as much for the recognition.

18. There is a lot more micromanagement now. Mostly because technology makes it easy. Back in the day if you were out in the field, you weren’t reachable. Your boss took it on faith that you were with customers, he or she had to. Actually, I might have been at the mall, or getting a manicure, or sharing a joint with the rest of the account team in the parking lot after the meeting.

19. There were a lot of sales meetings, sales events, trips, team building, dinners and other events that cost a fortune and were very swank. You’d drive somewhere, stay in a beautiful hotel, be wined and dined and walk away from the event knowing that the company valued you and your division. I haven’t seen a good kick-off in a decade. I had a room in Monterrey one time that was directly over the bay. When I opened the window I heard the water lapping at the shore and sea lions barking. Those days are gone.

20. There was never a staff meeting on Friday afternoon. It would interrupt golf.

Okay, it’s five and I’m heading out. I might do more later!

A quick one!

Everyone is out today and it's been very quiet.

I was left with a crushing workload, or so I thought. When I started wading into it though, I discovered that it was pretty straightforward, and because I had set up the reports earlier, all I had to do was plug numbers in and voila! The reports are done and I'm left trying to find things to do to pass the time.

So that's all there is from here.

"Real" Housewives

What is the deal with the “Real” Housewives? This time I’m talking about New York.

The shit really hit the fan recently, divorce, lay-offs, arrests and just plain craziness.

The Countess, the fourth wife of the Count has been traded in for a younger model. This cracks me up, if he does it with you, he’ll do it to you. The new girl is much younger than the current model, and I’m thinking that she’s just waiting for the old guy to die.

It didn’t take a genius to see that his interests were elsewhere, mostly because he was elsewhere. Hint, if a guy is off ‘on business’ and he doesn’t own a business, most likely, he’s cheating.

I wonder what it’s going to be like for the Countess, not to have an endless supply of money. The house in the Hamptons is for sale, if that tells you anything. Apparently he’s not rich enough to hand her all the property and a bank account. Although he is rich enough to have 4 ex-wives and a mistress…

Then there’s Kelly. One of those women who has about 100 things going on, but none of them are actually real. Writing a column in a free magazine, being an Ambassador for Fashion Week, (not a paying gig, I’m assuming, but even if it is…) For a “fashionista” she wears some pretty ugly stuff. She’s one of those horsey girls and after awhile they all start looking equine to me. She’s got an incredibly inflated view of herself, always late to everything and refusing to allow her name to be used in conjunction with charity events (for someone who goes to an opening of an envelope, quite amusing.) She asked one of the other “Housewives” to have a drink and to discuss an issue she had, and then the amphetamines kicked in and she went off in a really unattractive way. Showed her butt and wore pink, plastic boots in the bargain. She’s a big bag o’crazy.

Betthany is trying to get a BIG career going. Not content to merely make money and live, she’s got a column in the same free mag that Kelly does, as a personal chef specializing in “healthy” cuisine. And low cal cocktails. Um. Okay. She was runner up in Martha Stewart’s Apprentice, she’s on this show. She tags along with her wealthier friends and tries to break into the big-leagues. What I like about Betthany is that what you see is what you get. There’s no hidden agenda, it’s all out there. I don’t see her doing much beyond what she’s doing, and let’s face it, what she does is respectable.

Jill and Ramona are wives with ‘jobs’ that are both tied to their husband’s businesses. Hey, it either is or isn’t work. They lunch, shop, redecorate their houses and fuss over their children. Kind of boring if you ask me.

The idea in the NY show is that none of these women is a housewife; half of them aren’t even married. It’s the social scene that’s on display here and I think you really have to be interested in the whole society thing to be even remotely impressed with any of these women.

To me it looks like they spend their time buying clothing to wear to events that celebrate clothing. Or something like that. Some money might be raised for a charity in there, somewhere, but at the end of the day it seems really, really hollow to me. I never see them sitting around with each other laughing like idiots, like real friends do. I don’t get the impression that any of these women is connected to anyone or anything. It’s just waking up and trying to think of ways to climb a social ladder that more and more seems antiquated and unappealing. Like monarchies. Which leads us back to the Countess. A place you really, really don’t want to be.

We interrupt my boredom...

Sorry I haven't updated, but either I've been on an on-line crossword binge, or burried in Excel spreadsheets.

I never really got to be the new girl. I started the job and jumped right in.

Today my boss is traveling and I don't have a bunch of pressing items, so I've been dicking around on the internet.

The latest big deal in my life is my 30th High School Reunion. Our school was small, fewer than 100 in my graduating class, so they're combining classes to make enough to actually throw a party.

I'm really looking forward to seeing old friends from the past. And also people I know and keep in touch with.

At first we were going to make a big event of it. My sister will come out with us and stay with some family friends. James and I are going to stay at the hotel, even though it is out where Jesus left his sandals, because James wants the option of returning to the room if he gets bored or feels excluded. Fair enough. I was thinking of going to LA to see The Price is Right, or driving up to Sedona, or the Grand Canyon or something to make it worth the hassle of flying across the country. But in the end, who really wants to be in Arizona in August? Now it's just a long weekend.

We're going to my cousin's wedding in NJ in June. We'll be spending as much of our time in NY as we can. I sure hope there aren't a bunch of wedding events, Rehearsal Dinner (where out of towners are fed rubber chicken) or after event brunches. I'm in it for one afternoon/evening the rest of the time I want to be in NY.

Most of my conversation with my family is about clothing. What we have, what we need to buy, what's appropriate. At this moment in time I'll be wearing a dress I've had for 5 years. I wear it on cruises, so it must be okay.

That's the problem with a vacation, it's more fun to plan, the realities are exhausting, uncomfortable and smell weird.

Payday

Wow,

I have ended my 3rd week back at work. To make this extra fun, I have a cold. All I want to do is lay around the house and sleep, but I have to get up every day and come to work. To do what? Not much.

Apparently the person who had my job before me made everyone think that pulling reports was a big deal. It's not really.

One of the managers has his reports doing a manual report. I'm to compile each sheet and then do a master sheet, showing the team optics/metrics. So I do this, keeping in mind that it's only as accurate as the spreadsheets I'm getting from the field. The manager sends me a scathing email the gist of which is: this isn't accurate. I call him, since I don't want anything snarky floating around, and explain that the numbers are computed from what I'm sent. I ask him for the hard numbers, and just put them in the blanks, rather than a formula. I fixed the issue in about ten minutes. So there.

This guy loves a report and it's all bullshit. Oh well, it makes the world go 'round and it's what I get paid for.

You really can lie with statistics.

Taking them back to school.

I heard on the radio this morning that 2 out of 3 high school students in Georgia don’t graduate in a traditional high school program. Wow. In an effort to demonstrate that Georgia has an educated work-force the state department of education has decided to implement different educational tracks within the high school curriculum.

The idea is that the student can decide what he or she would like to study, within the parameters of the offerings.

I’ve said this for years, not everyone is cut out for college. In this day of ever rising post-secondary educational costs, it’s lunacy to send every high school graduate onto higher learning, especially with no job at the end of the rainbow.

More and more people are graduating with outrageous student loan debt. Considering that there is no guarantee of a job, even with a diploma, how are these kids ever going to pay this back? So many people in their early twenties are saddled with crippling debt, and the jobs they get aren’t worth the decades of payments they will be paying for their degrees in underwater basket-weaving or “business” or whatever it is that those idiots I taught in public schools major in.

Now don’t get me wrong, I believe in the value of a good Liberal Arts education. I really enjoyed my seven years of studying English. I even used it for a couple of years when I taught it, but let’s be real; the college diploma that I have is just the minimum threshold of most corporate “management” jobs. It didn’t and doesn’t qualify me to do anything in particular; it merely indicates that I am trainable.

So what did I learn in school that was immediately translatable into a job skill? Typing.

Is it so bad to acknowledge that not every kid has the desire or the interest in going to college? The trend has been to sell college to everyone. If your grades are sub-par, you can start at the local community college and then transfer to a state school. Go on-line! Financial Aid is available! It’s silly.

What’s interesting about Vocation School is that typically there is a rigorous entrance requirement. Students are generally juniors and seniors, must have above a 2.0 grade point average, and must have passing grades on their state/federal achievement tests. In fact, in Florida, the Votech scores were higher than the traditional high school scores.

So what could a young person study at the high school level that would qualify them for a job once they graduate?

Secretarial: I’m sure that we can think of a better name for it. In my day it was shorthand, typing, bookkeeping and ‘business’, these days I’d think it would include database, spreadsheets, word processing and ‘business’. You get the idea. Send the little buggers out to their entry-level jobs right from jump-street. Do you really need a college diploma to be a customer service rep?

Healthcare: At the magnet high school where I taught, we had a program that graduated Licensed Practical Nurses. There’s a nursing shortage and many nursing skills are not strictly academic, but are also practical, learned in the field. There could be Certified Nursing Assistants, Phlebotomists, Medical Assistants, Medical Billing and Coding, pretty much anything one of those ads that are on in the middle of the day promise. All of these can be learned by high school seniors.

Trades: There is a paucity of electricians and plumbers. Why not get the kids apprenticed and learning something that they can earn a great living at? Skilled trades are always in demand and they offer an opportunity for growth and an above average wage.

Cosmetology: Hair, lots of people are interested in doing it, playing with it, styling it, and it’s one of those things that needs monthly maintenance.

Computer Science: Let’s face it, some of these kids are really good hackers. Why not direct that energy someplace useful? Train them in Oracle, Cisco and other certifications. Again, they can start as juniors and seniors and graduate earning right away.

The reason the vocational schools have dwindled is because in the seventies someone realized that minorities and women were shunted into what had previously been perceived as ‘dead-end’ jobs and the white males were advised to go onto college. Look around, that’s no longer the case. What I observed were frustrated kids who had no aptitude or interest in a traditional college-track education wasting away and causing trouble in a traditional classroom.

Will there be issues with racism and sexism? Of course, there are issues now. The kids dropping out aren’t the same across the board. It’s the poor, minorities and girls. Gee, that matches up pretty well with the traditional targets of discrimination. At least let’s stop pretending that anyone can be anything they want to be. It’s not true, it’s never been true.

The sooner common sense makes a return to all sectors of public life, the better off we’ll all be.

New Post from Work

Ooohhh!

A quick one, because I'm paranoid.

Today I researched. It's very interesting and everyone in this economy is exploring new ways of doing business. The Meeting Planning and Event community is outraged because companies receiving TARP money can't have any meeting for over $75,000 without getting special permission. In the meeting business you can't blow your nose for $75,000. Naturally there are sites devoted to expressing this outrage. My thought is to develop packages of services for $75,000 or less to market to TARP companies. Also, if there's a governmental rule, there's a loophole. Instead of having one big, multi-topic meeting, have many meetings, each with one topic. In the same hotel. You get my drift. Don't pay for catering out of your meeting budget. Pay for that out of per diem.

Considering that this is my 7th day on the job, I think I'm catching on pretty fast.

Ah, today was normal

No weird Phone Blitzing, no catered bagels and 1/4 sandwiches, just a regular day. Oh, did I mention the 4 inches of snow and the subsequent icy conditions for the commute this morning. Oops. Yeah, that too.

I got in a bit after eight and mine was the only car in the parking area. I have an alarm code, but no one showed me how to use it and the last time I dealt with an alarm a cat shrieked at me, the cops called, it was gruesome. But, I was in luck, someone in the warehouse had come in before me, so I sauntered in.

I have to clock in. Really? Clock in? So I logged onto the computer, clocked in and then made coffee and oatmeal. I ate my breakfast. Diddled around on the internet for a while and about an hour later people started to trickle in. They canceled school so there was a shuffle to arrange to keep the kids, but it didn't affect me.

I worked on my spreadsheet until around 3:00, then I clocked out, ran to Kohl's bought a couple of things and ran back, clocked back in and updated the spreadsheet.

The day drifted by pleasently enough, and really, what more can I ask for?

Back to work

I should have posted this on Monday, but I am so overwhelmed I'm just now getting around to posting anything, anywhere.

Here are my impressions:

1. This company is an awful lot like Dunder-Miflin, in that it is a niche industry, although the company is the largest in their industry, there aren't hundreds of people in my building, there are dozens.

2. Why did I think that I liked getting dressed for work? Perhaps I ought to omit heels and hose, I can't really go without a bra.

3. It is incredibly stressful not knowing stuff. Who the people are, how the systems work. The good news is that they don't have any weird, legacy dinosaur systems. They use pretty standard, off the shelf software, and that's a tune we can all dance to.

4. The people seem pretty friendly.

5. The upper management is very cool. Haven't seen a tie yet.

6. The floors are linoleum, so we can play chair hockey.

7. They're willing to try stuff, even if it fails. That's pretty great.

I will be wearing a comfy outfit tomorrow. No matter what. My feet hate me, my back hates me, my head aches, but I am happy! I like my new job!!!!!

They make it hard

I got the call from the other employer on Thursday and I felt sick. While the job I have is a better fit, working for this company would be an awesome opportunity.

This morning one of the hiring managers called and asked me to change my mind. I told him I had already committed and that I wouldn't feel right taking it back. Then the other manager called me and she told me how disappointed she was. She said that she was leaving the job open for a couple of months.

I told them both that I wanted to keep in touch and to keep the door open.

Is it normal to feel awful in this type of situation? It's not like there isn't a huge pool of folks to choose from in this economy.

I am also flattered beyond belief.

I used the presentation that I got from the networking meeting. I sincerely believe that this is what put me over the top. It's a four page PowerPoint, printed and bound (in a report thingy with a clear cover.)

1. Industry Trends-3 points
2. Why X company is leveraged for success-3 or 4 points
3. What I bring to the position-3 points
4. Career goals (and how this job fulfills them)-3 points

It took a bit of research, but as you can see, it pays dividends. I spoke with the guy who taught the workshop and thanked him profusely.

So that's where we are now. It's not a bad place to be.

I am employed

I got a call from one of the jobs. They offered it to me. Whee.

I'd be WAY excited if only the money were better. It's about 1/3 of what I used to make. Of course you'll never make as much doing anything as you can if you are good at sales. I'm getting too old to be schlepping a quota around, so I suppose I had better make my peace with it.

I'll be a Sales and Marketing Coordinator, which is a great title. I get to sit at a desk (office? Cube?) all day playing with a database. There are worse things. I'm thinking that I could start a newsletter, hold workshops, do all the customer interactive things I like to do.

I start Monday. Why not? It's not like I have anything better to do.

Another weekend and I didn't win the lottery

They say (and by "they" I mean Dr. Phil) that if you are out of the workforce too long, that you only have a 5% chance of returning. You get used to slogging around the house and out of the practice of remaining upright for hours at a time.

I slept through the alarm this morning, I don't think that's very auspicious.

I have a ton of projects to do around the house:

1. Organize the bookshelves by color. Sure, why not? Although I currently have them organized by author and subject, I think we ought to shake things up a bit.

2. Sort out the basement storage closets. The one under the stairs houses James's comic book long boxes, luggage, wrapping paper and bedding. The one that used to be a dark-room has tools, paint, and assorted crap.

3. Buy a TV stand, move the buffet that's under the TV now by the desk to use as a credenza.

4. Paint the ceiling in the bathroom. Seriously, I'm going to do it.

You get the idea. Of course I could just lay around on the sofa. Ummm. That sounds good right now.

I have an interview at 2:00, I might just have my shit together by then.

No time for naps

It's been a busy week.

Lunch, networking, doctor's appointments, phone interviews, and I'm about an hour away from my in-person interview.

It's actually about 10 minutes away from the house, so I have a decent amount of time to get myself prepared.

I printed my resume, did my little presentation, printed the mapquest AND the instructions that they sent me. I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

I haven't really had a chance to apply for any new jobs, so I'll do that when I get back.

There are two jobs in play right now.

1. Financial Analyst, I'd be reviewing telecom bills insuring that everything is billing correctly. Pay is decent, location is outstanding and company is large with many opportunities to move around once I'm in.

2. Sales and Marketing Coordinator. Basically using their existing database manager to help them manage the sales force. Also pitch in on proposals and other ad hoc projects.

Both jobs sound good, I could do either. I'm leaning towards number 1, but not so much that I'd be disappointed with number 2.

So that's the update. This afternoon, applying for more jobs.

Networking

Last night I went to a marathon networking event.

It started at 6:00 which meant that I had to drive to the suburbs in rush hour traffic. The event was held at the UMC in Roswell, not the Roswell where I go to Whole Foods, but the old town Roswell, where the streets change names three times (my Mapquest just said-follow route 9). I didn't get lost but it was slightly intimidating.

The church is on a campus so after navigating parking and schlepping around, I found the building. Luckily there were plenty of super-nice people to shepherd us to the appropriate area. The Fellowship hall had tons of tables, your choice of a ham or turkey sandwich and all the sweet tea you could drink.

The festivities started off with a prayer (natch) and an inspirational talk from a member of the congregation/job search ministry. He described what it was like to man the sinking ship of a local bank as it failed. It was interesting to hear that story from the other side.

Then we had table leaders facilitate a small group discussion and introductions. Did I mention that there were about 400 people in attendance? Did I mention that we were all about the same age? So what's that about? Let's digress for a minute to parse this out. So we're all in our late thirties to forties. No younger folks, just the middle aged. Why us? Were we the ones who were let go? Are we more likely to show up for networking, in person, at a church? It's an interesting question.

I suspect that there weren't any younger folks there because kids in their twenties don't take lay offs as hard as we do, nor should they. Entry-level jobs are easy-come, easy-go. It's the job/profession/industry that you've been in for twenty years that's hard to replace and psychologically difficult to get over. Additionally, the kids in their twenties network in a completely different way that we do. They do Facebook, My Space, drink with their buddies, they don't show up at church to eat a supermarket sandwich and commiserate with their peers.

After dinner there was a lull, they had 35 people who volunteered to review resumes. I brought three versions of mine. The result, print it out in bigger type/font, instead of Profile, do Competencies/Experience and customize it. My resume is fine, the fact that I've got two job nibbles in this market is great. I breathe a sigh of relief.

While waiting for the evening's main event to kick off, I natter with some folks. I received compliments on my matching green glasses, loafers and adorable jacket. I felt a bit like a movie star.

I'm an optimistic person and I got a serious depressed and desperate vibe from the crowd. The men in particular looked beaten down and unhappy. It must suck to have the weight of supporting your family on your shoulders. I wanted to give them all big hugs and tell them that it would be alright.

I must have sounded like Pollyanna. Yuk!

We were given a list of 17 speakers and we were in for "Speed Networking". Tables were re-configured and each of the 17 speakers were seated at their table. We were to select 3 topics and find our speaker. We'd get twenty minutes with each, then we'd be switched.

My first topic was "Getting Hired By The Federal Government." This was particularly interesting because I learned that everything is different in government. Rather than a short resume, they want a long one with every single aspect of your job elaborated. Aha! That was great information!

My second topic was "How to Wow Your Interviewer." This also was illuminating as it took something that I do now (a leave-behind booklet of information) and showed me a way to really maximize it. When you get to the part of the interview where the interviewer asks, "Do you have any questions," instead of asking questions you say, "I've prepared something that I'd like to share with you, I'm taking a bit of a risk here, are you okay with that?" Then you whip out your bound, 4 page PowerPoint and show them that you understand their business, how you could contribute and specific things that you can do. If you get to a face to face interview, you are up against 7 other people, typically this means you have a 12.5% chance of getting the job. With this method it goes up to 46%. It's good enough for me to try.

The third topic, I was torn between "Negotiating your Salary" and "Interview Questions". I picked "Interview Questions" because it was the next closest table and the lady who helped me with my resume was the speaker. She was very nice, but I probably would have gotten more out of the negotiation topic.

It was after nine by the time it was all over and I was DRAINED.

I can't believe that they hold this event twice a month. I'm completely shattered from the crowd and the noise and the heat. It was good though, I won't deny that.

Applying what we read to our lives.

Tonight I'll be attending a networking event at a church. Oddly enough I got this tip from a lady at the bank who called to offer to open a Money Market account for us. Weird. But a good tip. The group meets twice a month and they have 140 volunteers who minister to the unemployed. The good news is that my ministering they don't quote Bible verses, but are in a position to offer advice on job searches, career changes and opening new businesses.

Although I appear to be fearless, I hate going someplace alone for the first time. It's intimidating. My rational mind knows that everyone there will be glad to see me, since they're putting on a rather elaborate show. But there's still that awkward feeling of encroaching on a private club.

I will push those feelings aside and soldier on though, I need to make some connections. According to the Outplacement Firm, the more people you talk to, the faster you "land" (a job). It's about 50-100 depending on the market and your skills. It's nice putting a number on it. Also, it's good to know that if I only talk to two people (interview) that my chances are slim that I'll get either of those jobs. It's the way it's working these days.

The weird thing about jobs is that about a year ago people were concerned that with all the boomers retiring that there would be a shortage of experienced professionals. That's where I was going to fit in! I'm at the very tail end of the baby boom, having been born in 1962. According to Outliers, I'm in a population trough. Thus, I have better chances of getting into good schools, getting into good jobs and in general having less competition for the stuff I want.

But, with Boomers's retirement accounts disappearing and general uneasiness in the economy, a lot of retirements have been deferred, so now I'm competing with a larger population of folks with skills and experience more vast than my own.

So, what do I do? Rather than puff myself up and bluster through an interview for a job that would be a reach, I scale back and try to slice about 15 years off of my resume and pass myself off as a Gen X'er. Why? Because I'd rather not have too much stress in my life right now. The thing that would best contribute to a lower stress life would be a good, steady job, with benefits, that is something that I could do blindfolded with one hand tied behind my back.

My goals for tonight's meeting are:

1. Have someone explain how my resumes are coming across.

2. Make some good contacts for job leads.

3. Have a good reason to get dressed up, made up and feelin' sassy!

I've got a new dress to break in!

Good Movies, Crap and that which does not hold up.

Movies that hold up:

These are movies that if I'm channel surfing, if they're on, that's it, I'm stuck watching them. If I catch it at the beginning, if I catch it in the middle, if it's the last five minutes, I'm done.

Certainly there are classics, but there are also movies that I love for absolutely no good reason. Smarmy romances, silly teen comedies, "you just had to be there" shows that I have no explanation for at all.

The Classics:

Casablanca: A stellar cast, a great story, a touch of hooyea and what can I tell you? It's the best movie ever. It's not the romance that's so interesting, but the play and interplay of the characters. Who's on the level? Who's not? Although everyone knows what happens and how the movie ends, you're on the edge of your seat through the end. It makes you wish you knew the words to The Marseilles so you can sing along. It also inspires you to try the most challenging fan fiction ever.

The Maltese Falcon: I love Dashiell Hammett, although if you read one of his stories you know right off that he's a huge alcoholic. You know how, when you're on a diet all you seem to want to talk about is food? Same thing only with alcohol. The Maltese Falcon has three of the cast members from Casablanca, so right there, you're on a winning streak. It also doesn't hurt that it takes place in San Francisco in the '30's. The sets are sumptuous, but realistic (rather than the ridiculous Fred and Ginger Deco extravaganzas.) The clothes are lovely, and the story sucks you right in. The best part is Bogart's speech to Mary Astor, about how he's not going to play the sap with her. As my father pointed out to me, it's the instruction manual for how to deal with relationships.

The Thin Man: Another Hammett story, with the fabulous Myrna Loy and William Powell. The story is okay, it's always a problem when you have to gather all the suspects in the room and then have fifteen minutes of exposition to explain the ending, but the mystery isn't the reason you watch. It's how Nick and Nora and Asta interact. It's all the characters and their motivations. It's seeing how it was in the thirties, for rich and poor, it's realistic and fantastic at the same time. When I grow up, I want to be Nora.

The Bandwagon: Okay, the Fred and Ginger movies are fun, but they're interchangeable. The Bandwagon has a story within the story and hilarious sight gags that do not hit you over the head. (The egg at the end of the "Damnation Scene" says it all.) The songs are great, the dancing is fun and the story is intelligent.

Singing in the Rain: I saw this in a film class because it was used as an illustration of how it was in the twenties when sound came to the movies.

Gone With The Wind: Scarlett O'Hara really needs to read: "He's Just Not That Into You." Still a great movie.

Giant: Elizabeth Taylor and Rock Hudson, looking beautiful on a Texas ranch. James Dean, chewing the scenery can't dampen my ardor for this amazing, extremely long movie.

Modern Classics:

The Right Stuff: As a kid born in 1962 it feels like my childhood. It's four hours long and I can tune it in any time.

The Godfather: Obviously and for obvious reasons.

All About Eve: If you've never seen this, hundreds of situation comedy plots make no sense to you.

Amadeus: Come on, Mozart as a goofball? F. Murray. Abraham? Who could resist?

The French Connection: "Popeye's here!" I just love that.

Taxi Driver: There is just something about New York movies in the seventies that is just so real and gritty and sad.

Five Easy Pieces: Jack Nicholson's best disaffected youth movie. It starts in Houston and ends on an island off the coast of Washington state. Karen Black is beautiful and sad as Rayette, "I'll go out with you, or I'll stay in with you, or I'll do anything that you like for me to do, if you tell me that you love me." "Okay, you can sing the song."

A Clockwork Orange: It's as fresh and relevant today as it was in 1971. Reading the book is as hard as reading Beowulf in Middle English, but totally worth it.

The Muppet Movie: Seriously, watch it again. It's awesome!

Terrible movies that I love:

Shag: It's the sixties and Four South Carolina girls ditch a tour of Fort Sumpter and go to Myrtle beach. It has Pheobe Cates and Bridget Fonda in it. It's mindless, but I never get tired of it.

Phantom of the Paradise: Brian DePalma's first feature. The music is amazing (written by Paul Williams) the cast is very good, considering that for most of them it was their first and last movie.

Sixteen Candles: Eventually we find Jake Ryan. I tried to screen this for my freshman English class and with a PG rating, I didn't think it would be a problem. Since when can people say "Fuck" about 700 times and show boobs in a PG movie?

Clueless: Actually, it's Emma, so it's okay.

Movies that DON'T hold up:

Great in their day and now completely unwatchable. Really disappointing.

Rocky Horror Picture Show: Considering that I've seen it a bazillion times when I went to the Sombrero Theatre in Phoenix between 1978 and 1981, you'd think I'd have more affection. Oddly enough, no. You really had to be there.

Tootsie: Unbearable! Cringe-worthy from start to finish. It might as well be Ishtar.

Grease: You think you like it, you remember liking it, and then the music starts and you look around the room wildly for something to occupy your time.

Harold and Maude: Aside from the considerable yuk factor, oh, never mind, this movie was never that good.

Arthur: Something about a sad alcoholic and his cheap girlfriend, even starting out the prospect isn't promising, factor in the physical comedy and Liza Minnelli and you've got a stinker from beginning to end. Did I really love this movie when it came out. Really?

Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Is it me or is that movie longer than Lawrence of Arabia now?

Logan's Run: I remember really liking this movie when I was a kid. In watching it recently I have to admit that it was only interesting for the first 30 minutes, the minute they go outside, I fell asleep.

The minute I post this, I'll think of more, but I'm interested in what you think.

Things I'll never figure out.

This morning I got a commission statement for my Feb 6 payment. I'll be getting commissions in dribs and drabs through March as everything tapers off.

Typically New Sales Revenue is paid 2 months behind, Total Billed Revenue is paid 3 months behind and there's an annual payment for Customer Satisfaction that's paid in March or April.

New Sales Revenue is paid on a Trimester basis, actual percentages month by month, and "trued-up" at the end of the Trimester, in this case December. So I was paid at 103% for three months, then I closed out the Trimester at 108%, so I'm owed an additional 5% for all four months. Not only that, but there are accelerators for any percentage over quota, so I get all that dough too. Complicated? You Bet! That's the point. If it were simple, you could actually challenge their computations. If it's so complex that it takes a Super-Computer to figure it out, you have a tendency to just take their word for it.

Total Billed Revenue is paid monthly and trued-up at the end of the year. In 2007 we had an account deck and our TBR was based on the performance of those accounts, in 2008 we were paid on the performance of the entire Signature Account Group. So in 2007 I was paid at 113% of my TBR (woo-hoo!) 2008 was dismal and I think that the final figure was 83%. BUT. If you leave the company, the policy is to give you 100% (rather than anything over that, with accelerators...) So it looks like I got all that dough, trued up for an entire year.

I've asked my compensation analyst to verify it for me, because, again, as I've said, this is really confusing!

The upshot is that I'm getting a rather large check in the next couple of days, one that I didn't expect. Yea!

Another thing I'll never figure out is how kids who are on American Idol don't understand how Hollywood Week works, in particular how group day works.

They get in groups and either professionally work and have a great audition, or they have drama and psychosis and have a horrible audition. But actually, it doesn't matter because if you're good, you're good and how the rest of your group does is rather immaterial. The task isn't "put together a great singing group." The task is actually, "deal with people and still come out smelling like a rose." So people stress and agonize over the idiots they're working with and lose sight of the big picture, which is, "be good."

Yet another thing I'll never figure out is how people on Hell's Kitchen, after 5 seasons, haven't been cooking the stuff on Ramsey's menu at home so that they're ahead of the game when they get to LA. Really? You don't know how to make risotto? I'm baffled.

Whoosh!

Well, the repair man came and fixed the washer, all things considered it was pretty cheap at $163.00.

Today I got two nibbles resulting in screening (phone) interviews. *Whew!*

At least now I know the resumes aren't going into a black hole somewhere.

Lauren is bringing the dog over to spend the day tomorrow. No particular reason, he keeps me company, our house provides him with a change.

So Mercury is out of retrograde and all the stuff that's been blocking up the universe is dislodging.

About freaking time!

The oldest story in the world, revenge of the machines.

I don't know what it was about devices and water yesterday, but hoo-boy, what a mess.

First, after transferring the jeans from the washer to the dryer, I heard a very loud thumping in the dryer. Exasperated from the constant removal of items from the pockets of James's clothing, primarily money, I had James go check it out. Turns out we washed his phone. Yes, the phone was a cheap-o Nokia, but still, it performed perfectly fine for the 4 calls James made per month on it. So now we must buy a new phone.

Then, as I was checking up on the load of darks I notice that there's water all over the basement. Great. I thought I had left a sock dangling between the drum and the door, allowing water to wick out onto the basement floor. It was something like that. Apparently the arm of one of James's shirts got stuck between the drum, the door and the gasket. So not only did water get out of the washer, but the entire gasket and the arm of the shirt became tangled and as the drum rotated, the action of the shirt and the gasket tightening caused the gasket to pull away from the washer. So I pull out a clump of clothes, untangle the shirt from the gasket, the metal fittings that hold the gasket in the washer and about $3.00 in quarters. Oh, and the clothes are all soaking wet.

After about 2 hours in the dryer, the clothes dried. The shirt in question was ruined, and I had two loads of laundry to take to the coin laundry on the way to the gym.

I called Whirlpool and they'll send someone out tomorrow between 8:00 AM and 5:00 PM. Convenient. Also, goodness knows how much this will cost. James says, "Well don't worry about it, that's what an emergency fund is for." Good point.

There's a "Book of Dreams" that people who play the numbers/lottery use to pick their numbers. My question is, what is the number for machines and water?

What the Hell Demographic is this?

It's no secret that I pass my days watching a lot of television. I start at ten with People's Court, move on to Law and Order, C.I., then there's a couple of hours of who knows what channel surfing, then some Law and Order, Judge Judy, and maybe Divorce Court. I make no apologies, of my slim options, this is what I prefer. Sometimes I mix it up with Maury, but usually, it's the above.

What I find really interesting is the types of commercials during this programming.

1. Personal Injury Lawyers: You're hurt! You need to get paid! Sign up with me and get paid!

It's as though the folks who are watching court shows are trying to get pointers for their cases, that's about the only reason I can think that there are back to back to back PI attorney ads on.

2. Trade Schools: Hey! You're sitting on the sofa watching crap, why not go into financial aid debt to learn a skill that will provide a job that is barely above minimum wage!

Gee, you mean that there's a bunch of education involved in that intake stuff the medical assistant does at the doctor's office? I took EMT training and learned how to do a pulse and BP in about ten minutes.

3. Diet Pills: Yo! Fat-Ass! Do something.

I'll cop to it. My favorite thing to do while watching all of this shitty television is to scarf down junk food. Maybe if I took an unproven herbal and chemical compound I might not eat so much. Maybe, maybe not.

4. Tax Prep: You're broke, you owe people money and the only way you can get this money is to have us prepare your taxes!

The obvious assumption is that we'll only be seeing these commercials through April 15, but they're only targeting people who are owed money back from the government, and trust me, those folks aren't waiting so I'd be surprised if they go beyond Valentine's Day. As I've said here before, it's a scam, here's how it works:

The person brings in their W-2 to a tax prep person. In most cases the person only needs a 1040EZ form filled out. It's a one page document with boxes on it to put your numbers in. When I filled them out it took me all of 5 minutes to do. So why do they go to a tax prep place? Because they can get an advance against their refund, in other words, cash right now! How long does it normally take to get a tax refund? About two weeks. The costs? With the tax prep fee and the "loan" fee about 25 % of the total refund! God bless America!

Oh, and have I mentioned how racist these commercials are? Magic Johnson talking about teamwork (are you laughing?) My favorite is a place called Mo' Money Taxes. There's a white guy in drag speaking ebonics with the name Ma Medea...Oh, I can't go on, it's beyond anything you can imagine. Tyler Perry has an actionable case though, that much I know.

5. Buy here, pay here Car Lots: Bad credit? Need a car? Want to pay 5 times what it's worth?

Drive Time, JD Byrider, these are the big names, but there are the local guys too. It's not a monthly payment, but a weekly payment. Hey! Use your tax refund as a down payment, in fact, bring your W-2 to us, we'll prepare your taxes and you can drive away today! (If the damn thing starts that is...)

6. Rent-to-Own: Can't afford stuff you don't need? Too proud to go to thrift stores? Want to pay 5 times what it's worth?

I can't afford a 42" flat screen TV either, but I'll make due with the tube jobby until I can. If you want to go to one of these excuses for usery, then good on ya mate. They sell damn near everything in these places. Furniture, computers, appliances, anything that people want or need, it's loan sharking pure and simple.

7. Over-priced Liability Insurance: Driving a hooptie? Need insurance,? We offer weekly payment plans!

The latest wrinkle is people who admit to letting their insurance lapse due to economic hardship and how they were welcomed back by the insurance company. The narrative usually describes how they were in an accident, lost their license and subsequently are in a bigger hole now, than when they had to skip their payment.

Previously it was a lady with groceries complaining about gas prices, but now that gas has come down in price, it's this new financial appeal.

Okay, I'm a little too schooled in this. Time to watch some Law and Order reruns that I taped in the middle of the night so I'd have something to watch during the noon to three lack of programming.

Dreams that are completely obvious

I know, writing about your dreams is the ultimate in self-indulgence, but this one was just so strange.

I'm on a cruise with my sister and parents. The ship has docked and I'm not packed up. Although I only want to have a carry-on with the things that I brought, my family members insist on me packing all sorts of crap that they brought with them.

I'm frantically trying to pack my clothes in my carry-on and I'm leaving behind full bottles of perfume because the TSA won't let me carry them on. I don't want to check a bag. As I'm trying to get my stuff into my bag, my family is hassling me to add more things, things I don't want.

I'm also concerned because we're being hurried off the boat and my cabin steward, although being nice, is trying to get me out too. I'm worried about tipping him and I have $50 that I keep trying to give him, but every time I go to give it to him, he goes off somewhere else.

I should also add that the ship is kind of old and funky, not nice like cruise ships I've been on.

My sister is trying to help me, but she's bogged down in wanting me to save things I don't want too.

So, I think we're talking about Baggage here. My dad is a complete pack rat and my mom is totally sentimental about everything and my sister feels guilty about not wanting things so she keeps them in her garage. Me. Screw that, I don't want anything weighing me down.

My mom called last week asking me what of her jewelery I wanted, since they were doing their will. I know it was impolitic, but I said none. Then she says, "What about those pieces I got with you in Korea?" She meant the weird orange stones, a pendant, ring, bracelet, who knows what all else. She had an outfit made to match, so she can go out looking like the Great Pumpkin or something. Okay, sure.

She did ask me to bring back her wedding china when we drive back to Dallas next. I'm glad to do it. I've had it for about 12 years and I've never taken it out of the quilted containers. I'm too scared to use it and honestly, when do I entertain such that what I prepare needs to be served off of bone china?

She offered me another set of china (in her travels she's collected two more sets.) No thanks. The regular ceramic plates I bought at Target for $20 for a service for 6 is just fine for the likes of me.

WWTD?

What would Tarzan Do?

This is in honor of James's latest enterprise, Blog of Tarzan. It's hilarious and born out of a Jeopardy category. I'll link to it if I can find it.

I applied for a job at Avon as a District Sales Manager. A couple of times in my life I've sold Avon as a way to get some extra spending money. It is what it is. My friend Nini sells Avon, so in case they call to interview me, I ordered one of their fragrances, Mark Pure. Mark is their younger line and I'm hoping that the scent is light and won't give me a headache, like pretty much every other fragrance.

The whole thing should be interesting if nothing else.

I've also applied for some other jobs. Some jobs, specifically with the Federal government have been canceled. That's not good, but it's not outrageous either.

Home Depot Expo is going out of business, I need some tile for the downstairs bathroom, but it's been my experience that when these places go out of business that nearly nothing you'd want is put on sale. Expo has some things in stock, but most are special order. So floor models and stock items might be sold or they might be shipped back to the manufacturer. They're not going to give it to me for free because they know my basement bathroom needs some period black and white tile. Also, this means that one of the largest companies in Atlanta isn't hiring.

I got contacted by a recruiter today. I'm suspicious, but I think that serves me well. If this guy has a line on a job and he wants to hook me up then it's all good. I looked at his linked in profile and frankly it's not all that interesting, one way or the other.

Okay, now to prowl the outsourcing website to see some crap there.

Sure. It's really helpful.

Start your engines!

Why is it that I have such a hard time getting going on doing chores?

It didn't used to be this way. I remember that shopping of any sort was the reward and I would only allow myself to go shopping if every speck of housework was done. Now, I use shopping as the excuse for why the housework didn't get done.

Let's get real. Although I am very committed to my job search it doesn't take all day. There is no reason this house shouldn't sparkle and shine. Additionally, it's good for the chi of the house to be clean, so it's in my interest to do the housework.

I decided that Feng Shui would be the answer to jogging loose a job, I had plans to get red ribbon to tie on the phone and computer lines. I was going to jazz up the dining room where the money corner of our house it. I was going to clean out the Christmas stuff (presents we don't want) from the guest room, where the Career section of the house is. I was going to sort out James's room, where the Helpful People part of the house is. Put new names in the pot and all of that.

I planned to update my Vision Board with more job oriented items.

And yet, I invent excuses and other time wasters to have a reason not to clean. Today I went grocery shopping and plant shopping. Yesterday I did laundry. Actually I folded laundry, James worked the machines. See? Dare I say that I'm lazy?

I'll admit that I'm depressed about being cooped up in the house. You know it's bad when you've seen all the Law and Order repeats. Twice.

It's not like I don't have things to do, I totally do!

I did plant some red flowers by the door, bought a bamboo plant for the desk and some purple flowers for the dining room.

I guess I'll take it in small steps.

There it is

Oddly enough I got the other check yesterday. I went directly to the bank and deposited it. On Tuesday all of the funds will be available. Additionally I did our taxes and figured out our refund.

It's scary. That's it, there's nothing more to really look forward to. No more checks (figuratively, literally I get two more from the Death Star, lagging commissions.) I'll get unemployment, but it's not really all that much, not compared to what I had made.

I run our financial lives windfall to windfall, which is pretty stupid in actuality. We have a plan for the disbursement of the funds, with a certain portion going into savings to live off of in case I can't get a job quickly. I am rather proud of the fact that we can get by for the rest of the year on James's salary if we have to. I guess that's one thing that worked out for us in all of this.

I did apply for a Qwest job. It's a Global Account job, relationship based, not so much hunting. I'm still ambivalent though, I know that Di had a bad experience with them, and they aren't much of anything here in the South, but I'd love to talk with them to see what it's all about. Goodness knows I could do the job blindfolded with one hand tied behind my back.

And now to find my feng shui book. I'm going to clean the house tomorrow and I need to shake up the chi around here!

New photo, new attitude

You may notice that the profile photo has changed. There's a reason for that.

I had my first meeting with the outplacement agency this morning. It was mostly a get acquainted type of deal, showing us around the website, explaining the webinars, discussing our options. There were two other guys on the call with me and the counselor. one guy a VP from Merrill Lynch and the other guy from the mining industry in Arizona.

I've been reading the materials that they sent to me via UPS and one of the things was to upload my own website. I figure that LinkedIn is as good a forum as any, and if I Google myself it's the first thing that you see. The pic there was taken by my buddy Summer in her mom's front yard. It was okay, but not really the kind of thing you want to use to make a good first impression on a prospective employer.

About once a decade I get a professional photo taken of myself. In the 80's, I did Optifast and worked out and lost a lot of weight so I had pro photos taken. In the 90's we needed a picture for our business cards so I went to Glamour Shots. Hilarious! So now I went to a place at the mall called Headshots. Guy was nice enough and the benefit was that he could retouch it right there and then. We diddled around on PhotoShop and I have to say that I'm pretty happy with the results.

I'm not happy about how little my head looks on my body, but there's no one to blame but myself there.

So I think that the new photo looks more professional and flattering. If somehow someone stumbles across the site, they can see how I would look sitting in the office, instead of in a sundress on a lawn.

Random News

Free make up. It's a class action suit based on price fixing in the cosmetics industry. (How can you fix a price on something that is entirely of subjective value?) At any rate, here's the website with the details. I'm going to the mall tomorrow to see if there's anything left. Like I have anything better to do with my time?

http://weblogs.newsday.com/features/home/cheap_thrills_blog/2009/01/free_makeup_today_at_macys_and.html

Officially Unemployed

Yesterday was a holiday so I couldn't deposit my check, or go to the library or file my claim at the unemployment office. So again today I woke up, got dressed and actually put on make-up so I could go out and run these errands.

I spent two hours at the unemployment office. I've been there three times now, the first time to get the information, the second to sign up and this last time to sign up now that I'm eligible to sign up.

They are very pleasant there and they say reassuring things to you about your job search. I'm rather amazed, it's as though they really want you to get back to your profession so that you can be happy.

There's a short orientation where they explain the process, then you go to a computer to input all of your information. When you are done, they take two copies of your official separation papers and from here on in you do your claim on line. After a few weeks they might ask you in to do a workshop, if that's the case you must then submit a green log form showing all of the information from your job search. It's hilariously old-school. What's the address? To whom did you submit your resume? What's his or her phone number?

It's as if they missed the Internet all together. People asked questions, "What if you submitted to a company that didn't list their name?" The answer, "Then don't put that one on the sheet." Seems simple enough to me.

At about 7 PM last night our doorbell rang. I thought it was the neighbor and her dog stopping in to get warm before continuing her walk, but no, it was UPS delivering my developmental materials from the outplacement firm. I thumbed through the book and it seems straight forward enough. They pretty much say that rather than blindly submitting resumes to job listings that the successful job seeker bothers hiring managers. This is probably why that information is usually a closely guarded secret.

I'm pretty good at social engineering, I can call into places and get people to give me information. The information that I received says that it takes about 30 to 50 contacts before the average person gets a job. They also say that most job seekers don't devote the correct amount of time to the job search. Both are probably true, but I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

There's a conference call on Thursday with the outplacement firm with me and some of their other clients. I'm reserving judgment. I'll let you know how it all goes. I did draft another resume, complete with an objective: A sales position that will allow me to combine my love of teaching and mentoring with my skills and experience in sales.

Check #1 recieved, just waiting for the big one.

I didn't leave the house yesterday, except to get the mail. I ran out in my nightie and flip flops in 30 degree weather to the mailbox. As I expected the first of my two checks arrived. Yea!

I'll deposit it in the bank tomorrow. I have to walk it in, since the ATM limits the amount of money you can deposit.

The wheels are turning as to what I'm going to pay off with this one. I get the next and final installment around Feb 15.

I have to put aside some dough to float us for a few months of unemployment. Then we really hack away at debt. Of course there's a desire to say, "Hey, let's take a couple thousand and go someplace." Paris. New York. With winter being so ugly the rates could be really cheap. But James is the voice of reason and he says, "Let's pay everything off first." Okay Pookie!

I did go out to buy a cute dress I saw in a Lane Bryant ad. I had a coupon so I got it at a discount. I also did some grocery shopping, so the larder is groaning. I can't be concerned if I have a full pantry.

While I was at the Mall I had Falafel for lunch. I woke up one day and decided that I needed to start liking falafel. I bought some mix for the actuall falafel balls, but it's the sauces that make the thing. Or so I'm told. I've never really had one before and I wanted to know what I was aiming for taste-wise. Apparently garlic is a rather large component.

I saw a couple of ladies in head-scarves at the falafel/gyro stand so I asked them how I should order it. The guy behind the counter was super-helpful too. For example I let them add the chilis. Wow! It was lemony, crunchy, tangy, garlicky and really, really good. I couldn't finish it, it was so filling.

I want to find some really good pitas, so I'm going to go to Buford Hwy tomorrow and find a store where I can get the right stuff. No sense in playing around in the Kosher section of Kroger...although, there is that kosher Kroger where the rabbis work, they probably have a HUGE section of middle eastern foods. It's interesting how my local grocery store caries five different brands of hummus, in addition to the different types of hummus.

Okay, I'm off to search recipes for sauces and tahini.

It's a jungle out there

You've got to keep your eyes open.

This morning on LinkedIn I saw a job for an International Management Trainee. Don't the words just ring like a bell? It's on LinkedIn, so it's got to be exclusive. I read the copy and it's pretty obvious that they're looking for fresh-faced folks out of school.

I admit that I'm jealous, I've been aching for that kind of position. You know, the one where they say, "Hey little one, you've done a great job getting yourself through school, now we'll take your brain and make you a manager here at our company." From the description of the company I believed that they were in interactive internet marketing firm, like Google. Hey, that could be sweet, so even though I KNOW that I'm too old, I applied.

After I completed their goofy questionnaire (tell us about your summer jobs,) it was then that I googled them. You know it's going to be a problem when you type the name of the company and the recommended search words include "scam." So then I read the information about the scam.

Apparently all the company does is recruit young people to do telemarketing. Additionally, they recommend that you watch Boiler Room to get an idea of the craft. EWWWWWW! (I love the movie, don't get me wrong, it's the idea that it's a good model that's icky.)

I immeadiately followed my email with another one asking them not to contact me. That'll teach me.

What exactly will that teach me? That all that glitters is not golden. That my initial instinct to bypass the job, even if it was for the wrong reason, was the right instinct. That I should research things before I just get all excited about them.

I have got to stop feeling vulnerable. I'm in a VERY good position and I can wait for the right job at the right place. I do not have to post for every halfway decent job, I can afford to be picky. After all, I am gifted, talented, smart, positive, funny and awesome to be around. A company is lucky if I decide to go work for them. They aren't doing ME the favor of offering me a job, I am doing THEM a favor by deciding to give them my energy and intellectual property.

It's only a mild freak-out

Thanks Scissors for the words. I think I can explain a bit here. It's just me, being crazy.

Yesterday I was checking out LinkedIn and I found a job that seemed to be tailor-made for one of my former colleagues, so I sent it to him. He emailed me back saying that he had started a new job at Qwest, not only that, but a second position was filled by another of our colleagues and they were both off to Denver for training. And then I went insane.

Did I apply for that job? Why yes I did. Did I even get an interview? Nope.

Then, I woke up this morning and there were 4 emails telling me that I wasn't going to be selected for any further consideration for other jobs I had applied for. Begin complete and total freak-out.

I decided that there was something wrong, and it was wrong with me. Or the universe. I needed counsel. So off I took myself to my friendly neighborhood New Age bookstore and presented myself to the resident psychic who canceled his afternoon appointments to see me. (No, he had an opening, but isn't it more dramatic that way?)

Carl channeled my Grandpa Boots and told me some interesting stuff. First of all, the job at Qwest wasn't the right opportunity for me. Secondly, I am a freight train, I am on a track and I'm getting where I'm going. Apparently the job is going to show up within the next 3 months, and there are currently 5 different companies that are right for me. The problem is that my resume is too flat, it needs dimension. I mentioned that my lazy eye prevents me from seeing in 3 dimensions, but apparently I was being too literal.

Also, my sister is going to meet her beshert this summer (Grandpa was very insistant on me passing that information along.)

I went home feeling pretty good and I've decided to raise my sights for a great job. It's out there, it's mine, I just need to claim it!

Later that afternoon....

Scott called from the office, Marriott had sent me some promotional stuff and he wanted to send it on to me (isn't he sweet?) We got to talking about the Qwest thing, and it turns out that a bunch of not-so-great BellSouth folks are working there and the job isn't what I thought it was, it's just selling switched long-distance. If I had to pick a job that would wither my soul, selling switched long-distance would be that job.

Funny, isn't it, that when things are put into perspective that there's no reason to freak-out.

I can't believe that I did it.

I applied for teaching jobs. Is this prematurely desperate?

In nearly every district, there's a path for people without a teaching credential to teach while getting all the stuff they need. In my last teaching gig I got an emergency/temporary certificate. I had 3 years to get all my ducks in a row to complete my certification for a permanent certificate.

In Dekalb county there's a new school 36 miles away in Lithonia, GA. It's entirely green with a negative carbon footprint. My last school was 60 years old and riddled with mold, asbestos and bad vibes. The school will be in its first year starting in Sept.

I keep thinking that if only I didn't do certain things, that my previous experience teaching might have been better. Where did I go wrong?

1. I was unprepared. I entered in the middle of the term and had no lesson plans, curriculum or any kind of notion as to how to teach.

2. I was too lenient. I let the kids walk all over me. There's a joke, "don't smile until Christmas." Meaning that you shouldn't let the kids know that you might be good tempered.

3. I taught English. The students were forced into this class, it's compulsary. If I teach business/computers, there's not as much stress or drama. Not so many writing papers to grade, no remediation with regards to standardized testing. Kids can see how the skills you get in a business class can translate into the real world. Try explaining how The Odyssey translates into the real world. (Hint: it doesn't)

4. I chose a school with Block Scheduling. This is a brutal schedule with four 2 hour classes in a day. You can't hold a teenager's attention for an hour, let alone two. The accelerated schedule also meant that you had to have 8 graded assignments a week. That's a lot of writing and testing and grading. A LOT.

5. In order to make more money I worked through my prep period. In Block scheduling you typically work three classes with one off for prep. Not me. Not only did I work through my prep class, I worked all day Fridays. This was the same as summer school for us. I could have had it off, but I needed the dough, so I worked. I was exhausted all the time!

6. I graded too easily. I identified with the students too much. I also thought that a grade should be a carrot, not a stick. I've revised my thinking on that. This time around there's a rubric and I'm sticking to it. I'll feel bad about the kid working his or her heart out and not getting anywhere. I'm sure my math teachers felt the same about me. It didn't help my grade.

7. I didn't ask for enough help. I should have leaned more on my department head and my assistant principal.

8. I was idealistic. Too many movies, not enough real life. I thought that I would be inspiring. I learned that it's not how you present the material, it doesn't matter. Either the kids get it or they don't. The coolest lesson plans I had were still ridiculed and mocked.

9. I wore dowdy clothes. It might have been that I was reflecting a defeated inner spirit, or that I didn't want to mess up my nice outfits, but the kids discounted me with my horrible, cheap outfits. If I do it again, this time I'm dressing nicely.

10. I won't get to intensely into it. It's a job, it's worth doing well, but although one good teacher can change the path of one student, you can't save them all. It's that starfish story "it mattered to that one." Sometimes you have to accept that the timing is off. Not all smart kids are ready to act right and do right. The less I invest personally, the better off we'll all be.

Don't get me wrong, this is the last resort. If none of the other jobs comes through, and if for some reason a teaching job does, then I'll give it my best shot.

At least if this is my destiny, then I have a better handle on it than I did the last time.

The right job

I went to Dallas to celebrate my mother's 70th birthday, so I spent a LOT of time with my family within a 36 hour period.

I was telling my sister about my job search as we tooled around in her new convertible and she became quite frustrated with me about my fatalism regarding my job prospects.

Many people who know me are horrified to find out that I am applying for secretarial/administrative work.

My Mother: "But you have Master's Degree."

My Sister: "You can afford to wait for the right job."

My former manager: "You don't have to do admin work." (the emphasis on admin is the same as it would be if I had said prostitution.)

One good thing that I did was get in touch with a former manager and tap him for a job. He's recommended a couple at his company, but he's not the direct hiring manager, so we'll see where that goes.

I apply for jobs on Career Builder, Monster, Hot Jobs, Linked in, Solo Gigs, USA JOBS and I search the website of each company with a large presence here in Atlanta. I have applied for exactly 93 jobs, everything from Administrative Assistant to Account Director and I have received 4 emails. The emails tell me that I am not the one they chose to interview. I mean, I can't even get the interview.

At first it was easy enough to excuse the lack of movement on these resume submissions as "the Holidays." The first week of January you could dismiss the lack of movement due to "just getting back to work." But if I don't hear something soon from someone, I'm going to start panicking.

Oh, and it's not that I'm over qualified, or under qualified or anything like that, I customize my resume for each job.

So, is it "the economy" or is it me? It's something to think about. And that reminds me, the outplacement firm owes me a call.

Pondering Income Tax Refunds

Where have I been? When did the income tax return business get so big? I have a book that points out that the "Rapid Refund" is really a predatory lending scam, which makes sense to me. But I don't remember my financial life ever revolving around my income tax return money. Not in my twenties, not ever.

I watch a lot of court shows. My favorite is People's Court, but I can handle Judge Judy too. Apparently many, many people work their entire household finances around the windfall they get when they get their tax refund. I had absolutely no idea. Really?

In my twenties I filed 1040 EZ and got a few hundred bucks back. I never saw this as a bonanza, I usually paid my car insurance with it, or something like that. According to the court shows the folks at the lower end of the income spectrum really depend on their refunds to make their budgets work.

Judging by the large number of commercials now advertising tax services, I see that getting the money as early as possible is a huge deal for some people. Some tax prep places are willing to extend loans based upon the last pay stub. I'm sure there are some processing fees that equal some huge percentage of the amount to be refunded.

It's insidious. You pay them to prepare the taxes, around $70 bucks, then they have a loan origination fee of $40 or $50, and you can have your refund in about 4 or 5 days. Never mind that you can do your own 1040 EZ in about 5 minutes, since you don't have anything other than the standard deduction, and have your money in about a week, if you file early.

I used a CPA last year. Want to talk about a scam? He charged $900 to prepare our taxes. The only reason I did it was because of some property we own in Kentucky that we needed to have sorted out. I usually use TurboTax, but I'm beginning to wonder about that too. You pay $49 for the software and $15.00 each to file State and Federal. I do it because I like to file electronically.

I'm going to see if the IRS has a way for me to do the taxes on line for free. That would be Sweeeeeet!

An overcast Sunday

James and I stayed up until about 2:00 am this morning watching stuff blow up on Destroyed in Seconds on the Discovery Channel. They do something pretty cool there, they show some horrifying destructive stuff, and they keep the casualties down, so you don't feel so crappy about cheering on the apocalypse.

So we slept in today. I did my usual Sunday routine of getting the morning paper in my PJ's, and clipping coupons. There aren't usually coupons in papers directly after holidays, so it's been a couple of weeks. Many of my coupons expired on 12/31, so I replenished my stock. It exhausted me, sitting in bed, watching HGTV and clipping and filing. So I rested and finally got out at around 2 to actually do the shopping.

I subscribe to the Grocery Game, which provides me with a list of store sales and coupon combinations so that I can save the maximum amount of money. Naturally I had my coupons, but I forgot my list. the freebie at Publix was a box of frosted corn flakes. Every Sun and Mon they have a .01 coupon for one of their store brand items. Last week it was salad dressing (going straight to the food bank) this week it's cereal (going straight into my pantry.) No matter, I remembered everything on the list except the pasta, which I can get tomorrow or Tuesday, depending on when I go to do my Kroger shopping.

I feel like such a housefrau.

So tomorrow is D-day, the day when everyone returns to work in earnest, hopefully the dam will burst and offers for job interviews will flood me. I have 74 active applications in, Come On! Something will have to shake loose.

Next weekend I am going to Dallas to have dinner with my family to celebrate my mother's 70th birthday. I have a weird feeling that she's going to be disappointed. She's invited her brother and sister-in-law to come, but my sister tells me that they're starting to whinge about coming down from Witchita (so now you know who lives there. My uncle is in meat.) I sure hope they make it. Personally, I'd rather not bother, but I've got my plane ticket, so I'm committed.

Mercury goes retrograde on the 11th, which is the day that I fly home, gnarly! How fun is that?

Have a great time everyone!

Oh to be young in the 80's in San Francisco!

A couple of nights ago I had this weird dream where I was desperately trying to write a blog entry about how wonderful my misspent youth in San Francisco was in the 80's. Well, I'm very bored and I just saw a bit of Purple Rain and now I am inspired.

When I moved to San Francisco I went with my family I had dropped out of school after 3 not so successful years at ASU. My GPA when I left was a very respectable 2.0. Let's just say that parties were more interesting than class. There's a joke I like to tell on myself. I was going to an American History exam after spending a few hours reading the textbook to prepare myself for the final. The problem? I couldn't remember where the class was. I went the first day, but sort of never went at any other time. I'm told that people have nightmares about such things, me, I just live it. Sort of takes the bite out of that sort of fear.

Anywho, we moved to San Francisco. I was out of work and my job was to see that my sister got to SFSU while my Mom worked. My Dad and my uncle were still in Phoenix trying to sell the house. I spent a lot of time alone in our apartment. Sort of like now. I had zero dollars when I moved, so I had no money to do anything with. I did file for unemployment and oddly enough I got some, so after a couple of weeks I started getting checks for something like $82 per week. Judy started to joke that I was so starved for something to do that my conversations started "Today on the Muppet Show..."

After a stint doing phone sex (not nearly as interesting or fun or sexy as you would think,) I got a real job at MCI. It was for $6.00 per hour in Orinda, Ca. I remember thinking that it would be okay until I found something better. At MCI I met Al and Carlos and we became friends. The three of us would get together and go out in The City on the weekends. They decided to move the office into The City, south of Market Street after about a year and that's when things really got interesting.

A bunch of us from the office would go out on Fridays after work. Cadillac Bar, where I was introduced to tequila poppers. The new Hard Rock on Van Ness, where I'd eat the tuna sandwiches because that was the decade I didn't eat meat. We'd start out somewhere respectible and end up in some really dodgy places well after midnight. The Stud, The End Up and Hamburger Mary's to name a few. Denny's in Japantown, or Clown Alley to cap off the night, then I'd head home in my Duster across the Bay Bridge into Alameda county.

My mom would wake me up on Saturday mornings so I could drive her back into San Francisco to shop at Union Square. She'd buy me a strong cup of coffee and I would wait for her to try on elusive black pants, or white silk blouses or black pumps. We'd have lunch at the St. Francis hotel where our waiter Manny would fawn all over her while I'd eat lobster ravioli.

I decided to go back to school in 85 and enrolled at SFSU with my sister. She lived in the dorms on campus, I commuted from Pinole, a small community at the edge of Alameda county. I paid my parents rent and I came and went as I pleased. I paid $400 per month. Even in the 80's San Francisco was expensive, but when I think about it, that's pretty high.

For a year an a half I went to the swing shift at work so I could go to school in the mornings. I'd wake up at 5:30 AM, shower and dress and drive to the bus stop to pick up two commuters so they could save on the fare and I could save the tolls and time across the bridge in the moring. There's a slang word for it now, Slugs.

I'd drop them off at the Transbay Terminal and I'd go hang out at the studio of my favorite radio show, Alex Bennet on Live 105. He had comedians live in the studio and I got to meet all kinds of guys when they were first starting out. Dana Gould, Tom Kinney, Greg Proops and a guy named Stephen Pearl, from whom Robin Willims stole material so prodigiously that it ruined his career.

I'd head on into school, do a couple of classes. I'd let my sister make me a bagel at the stand where she worked, or a sandwich at that stand when she changed jobs. If I stayed out partying too late, I'd just sleep over on her floor in the dorm. Or in the car in the parking lot. It seemed normal to me.

I'd go to work from 12:30 to 9:30 and then out to party or home to sleep. And then I'd wake up and do it all over again. I'm sleepy just thinking about it now. If anyone wonders why I don't drink and I go to bed early, I'll tell them, "I did it all, twice, in my twenties and I don't have any more of it left in me." Seriously, I get hammered with half a glass of wine.

Al and Carlos moved on, I hung out with Joe, who is still one of my best friends. Joe has lived in the same rent controlled apartment for the past 25 years. It's on the corner of Pierce and Hayes facing Alamo Square park. He's got a parking space in the garage. I believe that in the 80's he paid $900 per month for it, he might pay $2000 now. Market value is easily twice that. He'd let me sleep on his couch and he'd make breakfast in the morning of Eggo waffled, fresh fruit, coffee and oj. He's a good host.

His bathroom is completely retro in beautiful seafoam green tiles. He has a window that has a great view north and on a clear day you can see the Golden Gate. I loved to take a shower there, with the window open letting in the cold air, looking at his view. He has always had the map of the world shower curtain, because the green in it matches the tile.

Joe liked to go to Alta Plaza on Filmore and The Midnight Sun. The former was an upscale place where we'd get a booth in the corner and hold court. The Midnight Sun is a dive where they show campy clips and videos on televisions. After a while the patrons look like trout while staring at the televisions. As we moved into different jobs, we'd all gather at Joe's apartment for cocktails while he "fluffed" (not as in a porno movie, more as in getting pretty for the night.) Then we'd hit the town.

Sometimes I'd go out with my girlfriends, mostly to Union Street, but it wasn't as much fun as going out with my gay guy friends. Union Street is a meat market, with bridge and tunnel types trying to get lucky in the city. Tres Tacky.

I had cute outfits to go out in, I still buy those types of clothes, but I have nowhere to wear them.

It was a strange time. So many people I knew were sick and dying from AIDS. It was never out in the open. You'd realize that you hadn't seen someone for a while and then you'd be visiting in the hospital, then you'd be at the memorial. My mother was concerned for me because she didn't think it was normal for someone to know so many sick people. Word.

I remember a lot of the milestones about AIDS. I remember when they were debating closing the bathouses, I remember when they found the retrovirus, I remember when they came up with the diagnostic test.

I got an apartment in Oakland and a job in San Jose, that's a 4o mile commute, 80 if you do it down and back. My building was managed by a guy I worked with and he filled the place with people he knew from work. It was a big party, on Sunday's we all get together and eat a meal out back on the picnic table. After a year or so I couldn't hack the commute anymore, so I moved to San Jose.

I got a second job at Macy's and I was still running around like a loon. On stressful nights when I didn't have to work, I'd call up a friend and we'd go to Santa Cruz to ride the roller coaster, eat pizza and watch the ocean.

I had a little apartment and it was perfect for me. My friend Donna semi-moved in and we'd stay up all hours talking, drinking coffee and laughing like crazy. Donna and I are still friends.

I know I'm rambling, but compared to now, my life was so full then. I'm so bored now and I'm wishing that I had a little bit of the life I used to have. Maybe that's why I'm trying for jobs that are more entry-level, I'm trying to recapture that part of my life where your co-workers are your friends.

*sigh*

Okay, the forced march up memory lane is done. Back to the blog already in progress.

Happy New Year!

Usually people do resolutions for the new year. Who keeps them? They require resolve and in times like these, resolve is hard to come by.

Instead I'm going to do my intentions. I intend to do these things, but if they require resolve...well, who's to say?

1. I intend to up my exercise, instead of trotting on the treadmill, I will actually work out.

2. I intend to eat with my health in mind. I refuse to diet, but I will eat things that are good for me.

3. In furtherance of 2, I will not drive through any more. Junk food is okay every once in a while, but it's not really a good idea every day.

4. I forgive myself my shortcomings. I'm not perfect, no one expects me to be perfect therefore perfection is just not necessary.

5. On the other hand, if I'm home all day the house might as well be spotless.

6. I will not allow myself to get too comfortable hanging around the house. Finding a new job is a job in and of itself.

7. You can't get enough of what you don't really need, I will stop trying to fill boredom with shopping and eating. Perhaps I can fill boredom with exercise, thus killing two birds with one stone.

8. I will do a better job of keeping up with my friends. Thank goodness for Facebook!

9. I admit that debt has gotten out of hand. Thankfully my severance will take care of a good portion of it. The fact that we won't be entirely debt free just highlights how out of hand our spending got. Refer to numbers 4 and 7, at least we're on the right track now.

10. I intend to be happy, just like I am now.

So have a happy new year and good luck with any self-improvement projects you have in 2009!