"Real" Housewives

What is the deal with the “Real” Housewives? This time I’m talking about New York.

The shit really hit the fan recently, divorce, lay-offs, arrests and just plain craziness.

The Countess, the fourth wife of the Count has been traded in for a younger model. This cracks me up, if he does it with you, he’ll do it to you. The new girl is much younger than the current model, and I’m thinking that she’s just waiting for the old guy to die.

It didn’t take a genius to see that his interests were elsewhere, mostly because he was elsewhere. Hint, if a guy is off ‘on business’ and he doesn’t own a business, most likely, he’s cheating.

I wonder what it’s going to be like for the Countess, not to have an endless supply of money. The house in the Hamptons is for sale, if that tells you anything. Apparently he’s not rich enough to hand her all the property and a bank account. Although he is rich enough to have 4 ex-wives and a mistress…

Then there’s Kelly. One of those women who has about 100 things going on, but none of them are actually real. Writing a column in a free magazine, being an Ambassador for Fashion Week, (not a paying gig, I’m assuming, but even if it is…) For a “fashionista” she wears some pretty ugly stuff. She’s one of those horsey girls and after awhile they all start looking equine to me. She’s got an incredibly inflated view of herself, always late to everything and refusing to allow her name to be used in conjunction with charity events (for someone who goes to an opening of an envelope, quite amusing.) She asked one of the other “Housewives” to have a drink and to discuss an issue she had, and then the amphetamines kicked in and she went off in a really unattractive way. Showed her butt and wore pink, plastic boots in the bargain. She’s a big bag o’crazy.

Betthany is trying to get a BIG career going. Not content to merely make money and live, she’s got a column in the same free mag that Kelly does, as a personal chef specializing in “healthy” cuisine. And low cal cocktails. Um. Okay. She was runner up in Martha Stewart’s Apprentice, she’s on this show. She tags along with her wealthier friends and tries to break into the big-leagues. What I like about Betthany is that what you see is what you get. There’s no hidden agenda, it’s all out there. I don’t see her doing much beyond what she’s doing, and let’s face it, what she does is respectable.

Jill and Ramona are wives with ‘jobs’ that are both tied to their husband’s businesses. Hey, it either is or isn’t work. They lunch, shop, redecorate their houses and fuss over their children. Kind of boring if you ask me.

The idea in the NY show is that none of these women is a housewife; half of them aren’t even married. It’s the social scene that’s on display here and I think you really have to be interested in the whole society thing to be even remotely impressed with any of these women.

To me it looks like they spend their time buying clothing to wear to events that celebrate clothing. Or something like that. Some money might be raised for a charity in there, somewhere, but at the end of the day it seems really, really hollow to me. I never see them sitting around with each other laughing like idiots, like real friends do. I don’t get the impression that any of these women is connected to anyone or anything. It’s just waking up and trying to think of ways to climb a social ladder that more and more seems antiquated and unappealing. Like monarchies. Which leads us back to the Countess. A place you really, really don’t want to be.