Good Movies, Crap and that which does not hold up.

Movies that hold up:

These are movies that if I'm channel surfing, if they're on, that's it, I'm stuck watching them. If I catch it at the beginning, if I catch it in the middle, if it's the last five minutes, I'm done.

Certainly there are classics, but there are also movies that I love for absolutely no good reason. Smarmy romances, silly teen comedies, "you just had to be there" shows that I have no explanation for at all.

The Classics:

Casablanca: A stellar cast, a great story, a touch of hooyea and what can I tell you? It's the best movie ever. It's not the romance that's so interesting, but the play and interplay of the characters. Who's on the level? Who's not? Although everyone knows what happens and how the movie ends, you're on the edge of your seat through the end. It makes you wish you knew the words to The Marseilles so you can sing along. It also inspires you to try the most challenging fan fiction ever.

The Maltese Falcon: I love Dashiell Hammett, although if you read one of his stories you know right off that he's a huge alcoholic. You know how, when you're on a diet all you seem to want to talk about is food? Same thing only with alcohol. The Maltese Falcon has three of the cast members from Casablanca, so right there, you're on a winning streak. It also doesn't hurt that it takes place in San Francisco in the '30's. The sets are sumptuous, but realistic (rather than the ridiculous Fred and Ginger Deco extravaganzas.) The clothes are lovely, and the story sucks you right in. The best part is Bogart's speech to Mary Astor, about how he's not going to play the sap with her. As my father pointed out to me, it's the instruction manual for how to deal with relationships.

The Thin Man: Another Hammett story, with the fabulous Myrna Loy and William Powell. The story is okay, it's always a problem when you have to gather all the suspects in the room and then have fifteen minutes of exposition to explain the ending, but the mystery isn't the reason you watch. It's how Nick and Nora and Asta interact. It's all the characters and their motivations. It's seeing how it was in the thirties, for rich and poor, it's realistic and fantastic at the same time. When I grow up, I want to be Nora.

The Bandwagon: Okay, the Fred and Ginger movies are fun, but they're interchangeable. The Bandwagon has a story within the story and hilarious sight gags that do not hit you over the head. (The egg at the end of the "Damnation Scene" says it all.) The songs are great, the dancing is fun and the story is intelligent.

Singing in the Rain: I saw this in a film class because it was used as an illustration of how it was in the twenties when sound came to the movies.

Gone With The Wind: Scarlett O'Hara really needs to read: "He's Just Not That Into You." Still a great movie.

Giant: Elizabeth Taylor and Rock Hudson, looking beautiful on a Texas ranch. James Dean, chewing the scenery can't dampen my ardor for this amazing, extremely long movie.

Modern Classics:

The Right Stuff: As a kid born in 1962 it feels like my childhood. It's four hours long and I can tune it in any time.

The Godfather: Obviously and for obvious reasons.

All About Eve: If you've never seen this, hundreds of situation comedy plots make no sense to you.

Amadeus: Come on, Mozart as a goofball? F. Murray. Abraham? Who could resist?

The French Connection: "Popeye's here!" I just love that.

Taxi Driver: There is just something about New York movies in the seventies that is just so real and gritty and sad.

Five Easy Pieces: Jack Nicholson's best disaffected youth movie. It starts in Houston and ends on an island off the coast of Washington state. Karen Black is beautiful and sad as Rayette, "I'll go out with you, or I'll stay in with you, or I'll do anything that you like for me to do, if you tell me that you love me." "Okay, you can sing the song."

A Clockwork Orange: It's as fresh and relevant today as it was in 1971. Reading the book is as hard as reading Beowulf in Middle English, but totally worth it.

The Muppet Movie: Seriously, watch it again. It's awesome!

Terrible movies that I love:

Shag: It's the sixties and Four South Carolina girls ditch a tour of Fort Sumpter and go to Myrtle beach. It has Pheobe Cates and Bridget Fonda in it. It's mindless, but I never get tired of it.

Phantom of the Paradise: Brian DePalma's first feature. The music is amazing (written by Paul Williams) the cast is very good, considering that for most of them it was their first and last movie.

Sixteen Candles: Eventually we find Jake Ryan. I tried to screen this for my freshman English class and with a PG rating, I didn't think it would be a problem. Since when can people say "Fuck" about 700 times and show boobs in a PG movie?

Clueless: Actually, it's Emma, so it's okay.

Movies that DON'T hold up:

Great in their day and now completely unwatchable. Really disappointing.

Rocky Horror Picture Show: Considering that I've seen it a bazillion times when I went to the Sombrero Theatre in Phoenix between 1978 and 1981, you'd think I'd have more affection. Oddly enough, no. You really had to be there.

Tootsie: Unbearable! Cringe-worthy from start to finish. It might as well be Ishtar.

Grease: You think you like it, you remember liking it, and then the music starts and you look around the room wildly for something to occupy your time.

Harold and Maude: Aside from the considerable yuk factor, oh, never mind, this movie was never that good.

Arthur: Something about a sad alcoholic and his cheap girlfriend, even starting out the prospect isn't promising, factor in the physical comedy and Liza Minnelli and you've got a stinker from beginning to end. Did I really love this movie when it came out. Really?

Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Is it me or is that movie longer than Lawrence of Arabia now?

Logan's Run: I remember really liking this movie when I was a kid. In watching it recently I have to admit that it was only interesting for the first 30 minutes, the minute they go outside, I fell asleep.

The minute I post this, I'll think of more, but I'm interested in what you think.