What the Hell Demographic is this?

It's no secret that I pass my days watching a lot of television. I start at ten with People's Court, move on to Law and Order, C.I., then there's a couple of hours of who knows what channel surfing, then some Law and Order, Judge Judy, and maybe Divorce Court. I make no apologies, of my slim options, this is what I prefer. Sometimes I mix it up with Maury, but usually, it's the above.

What I find really interesting is the types of commercials during this programming.

1. Personal Injury Lawyers: You're hurt! You need to get paid! Sign up with me and get paid!

It's as though the folks who are watching court shows are trying to get pointers for their cases, that's about the only reason I can think that there are back to back to back PI attorney ads on.

2. Trade Schools: Hey! You're sitting on the sofa watching crap, why not go into financial aid debt to learn a skill that will provide a job that is barely above minimum wage!

Gee, you mean that there's a bunch of education involved in that intake stuff the medical assistant does at the doctor's office? I took EMT training and learned how to do a pulse and BP in about ten minutes.

3. Diet Pills: Yo! Fat-Ass! Do something.

I'll cop to it. My favorite thing to do while watching all of this shitty television is to scarf down junk food. Maybe if I took an unproven herbal and chemical compound I might not eat so much. Maybe, maybe not.

4. Tax Prep: You're broke, you owe people money and the only way you can get this money is to have us prepare your taxes!

The obvious assumption is that we'll only be seeing these commercials through April 15, but they're only targeting people who are owed money back from the government, and trust me, those folks aren't waiting so I'd be surprised if they go beyond Valentine's Day. As I've said here before, it's a scam, here's how it works:

The person brings in their W-2 to a tax prep person. In most cases the person only needs a 1040EZ form filled out. It's a one page document with boxes on it to put your numbers in. When I filled them out it took me all of 5 minutes to do. So why do they go to a tax prep place? Because they can get an advance against their refund, in other words, cash right now! How long does it normally take to get a tax refund? About two weeks. The costs? With the tax prep fee and the "loan" fee about 25 % of the total refund! God bless America!

Oh, and have I mentioned how racist these commercials are? Magic Johnson talking about teamwork (are you laughing?) My favorite is a place called Mo' Money Taxes. There's a white guy in drag speaking ebonics with the name Ma Medea...Oh, I can't go on, it's beyond anything you can imagine. Tyler Perry has an actionable case though, that much I know.

5. Buy here, pay here Car Lots: Bad credit? Need a car? Want to pay 5 times what it's worth?

Drive Time, JD Byrider, these are the big names, but there are the local guys too. It's not a monthly payment, but a weekly payment. Hey! Use your tax refund as a down payment, in fact, bring your W-2 to us, we'll prepare your taxes and you can drive away today! (If the damn thing starts that is...)

6. Rent-to-Own: Can't afford stuff you don't need? Too proud to go to thrift stores? Want to pay 5 times what it's worth?

I can't afford a 42" flat screen TV either, but I'll make due with the tube jobby until I can. If you want to go to one of these excuses for usery, then good on ya mate. They sell damn near everything in these places. Furniture, computers, appliances, anything that people want or need, it's loan sharking pure and simple.

7. Over-priced Liability Insurance: Driving a hooptie? Need insurance,? We offer weekly payment plans!

The latest wrinkle is people who admit to letting their insurance lapse due to economic hardship and how they were welcomed back by the insurance company. The narrative usually describes how they were in an accident, lost their license and subsequently are in a bigger hole now, than when they had to skip their payment.

Previously it was a lady with groceries complaining about gas prices, but now that gas has come down in price, it's this new financial appeal.

Okay, I'm a little too schooled in this. Time to watch some Law and Order reruns that I taped in the middle of the night so I'd have something to watch during the noon to three lack of programming.