Back to work

I should have posted this on Monday, but I am so overwhelmed I'm just now getting around to posting anything, anywhere.

Here are my impressions:

1. This company is an awful lot like Dunder-Miflin, in that it is a niche industry, although the company is the largest in their industry, there aren't hundreds of people in my building, there are dozens.

2. Why did I think that I liked getting dressed for work? Perhaps I ought to omit heels and hose, I can't really go without a bra.

3. It is incredibly stressful not knowing stuff. Who the people are, how the systems work. The good news is that they don't have any weird, legacy dinosaur systems. They use pretty standard, off the shelf software, and that's a tune we can all dance to.

4. The people seem pretty friendly.

5. The upper management is very cool. Haven't seen a tie yet.

6. The floors are linoleum, so we can play chair hockey.

7. They're willing to try stuff, even if it fails. That's pretty great.

I will be wearing a comfy outfit tomorrow. No matter what. My feet hate me, my back hates me, my head aches, but I am happy! I like my new job!!!!!

They make it hard

I got the call from the other employer on Thursday and I felt sick. While the job I have is a better fit, working for this company would be an awesome opportunity.

This morning one of the hiring managers called and asked me to change my mind. I told him I had already committed and that I wouldn't feel right taking it back. Then the other manager called me and she told me how disappointed she was. She said that she was leaving the job open for a couple of months.

I told them both that I wanted to keep in touch and to keep the door open.

Is it normal to feel awful in this type of situation? It's not like there isn't a huge pool of folks to choose from in this economy.

I am also flattered beyond belief.

I used the presentation that I got from the networking meeting. I sincerely believe that this is what put me over the top. It's a four page PowerPoint, printed and bound (in a report thingy with a clear cover.)

1. Industry Trends-3 points
2. Why X company is leveraged for success-3 or 4 points
3. What I bring to the position-3 points
4. Career goals (and how this job fulfills them)-3 points

It took a bit of research, but as you can see, it pays dividends. I spoke with the guy who taught the workshop and thanked him profusely.

So that's where we are now. It's not a bad place to be.

I am employed

I got a call from one of the jobs. They offered it to me. Whee.

I'd be WAY excited if only the money were better. It's about 1/3 of what I used to make. Of course you'll never make as much doing anything as you can if you are good at sales. I'm getting too old to be schlepping a quota around, so I suppose I had better make my peace with it.

I'll be a Sales and Marketing Coordinator, which is a great title. I get to sit at a desk (office? Cube?) all day playing with a database. There are worse things. I'm thinking that I could start a newsletter, hold workshops, do all the customer interactive things I like to do.

I start Monday. Why not? It's not like I have anything better to do.

Another weekend and I didn't win the lottery

They say (and by "they" I mean Dr. Phil) that if you are out of the workforce too long, that you only have a 5% chance of returning. You get used to slogging around the house and out of the practice of remaining upright for hours at a time.

I slept through the alarm this morning, I don't think that's very auspicious.

I have a ton of projects to do around the house:

1. Organize the bookshelves by color. Sure, why not? Although I currently have them organized by author and subject, I think we ought to shake things up a bit.

2. Sort out the basement storage closets. The one under the stairs houses James's comic book long boxes, luggage, wrapping paper and bedding. The one that used to be a dark-room has tools, paint, and assorted crap.

3. Buy a TV stand, move the buffet that's under the TV now by the desk to use as a credenza.

4. Paint the ceiling in the bathroom. Seriously, I'm going to do it.

You get the idea. Of course I could just lay around on the sofa. Ummm. That sounds good right now.

I have an interview at 2:00, I might just have my shit together by then.

No time for naps

It's been a busy week.

Lunch, networking, doctor's appointments, phone interviews, and I'm about an hour away from my in-person interview.

It's actually about 10 minutes away from the house, so I have a decent amount of time to get myself prepared.

I printed my resume, did my little presentation, printed the mapquest AND the instructions that they sent me. I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

I haven't really had a chance to apply for any new jobs, so I'll do that when I get back.

There are two jobs in play right now.

1. Financial Analyst, I'd be reviewing telecom bills insuring that everything is billing correctly. Pay is decent, location is outstanding and company is large with many opportunities to move around once I'm in.

2. Sales and Marketing Coordinator. Basically using their existing database manager to help them manage the sales force. Also pitch in on proposals and other ad hoc projects.

Both jobs sound good, I could do either. I'm leaning towards number 1, but not so much that I'd be disappointed with number 2.

So that's the update. This afternoon, applying for more jobs.

Networking

Last night I went to a marathon networking event.

It started at 6:00 which meant that I had to drive to the suburbs in rush hour traffic. The event was held at the UMC in Roswell, not the Roswell where I go to Whole Foods, but the old town Roswell, where the streets change names three times (my Mapquest just said-follow route 9). I didn't get lost but it was slightly intimidating.

The church is on a campus so after navigating parking and schlepping around, I found the building. Luckily there were plenty of super-nice people to shepherd us to the appropriate area. The Fellowship hall had tons of tables, your choice of a ham or turkey sandwich and all the sweet tea you could drink.

The festivities started off with a prayer (natch) and an inspirational talk from a member of the congregation/job search ministry. He described what it was like to man the sinking ship of a local bank as it failed. It was interesting to hear that story from the other side.

Then we had table leaders facilitate a small group discussion and introductions. Did I mention that there were about 400 people in attendance? Did I mention that we were all about the same age? So what's that about? Let's digress for a minute to parse this out. So we're all in our late thirties to forties. No younger folks, just the middle aged. Why us? Were we the ones who were let go? Are we more likely to show up for networking, in person, at a church? It's an interesting question.

I suspect that there weren't any younger folks there because kids in their twenties don't take lay offs as hard as we do, nor should they. Entry-level jobs are easy-come, easy-go. It's the job/profession/industry that you've been in for twenty years that's hard to replace and psychologically difficult to get over. Additionally, the kids in their twenties network in a completely different way that we do. They do Facebook, My Space, drink with their buddies, they don't show up at church to eat a supermarket sandwich and commiserate with their peers.

After dinner there was a lull, they had 35 people who volunteered to review resumes. I brought three versions of mine. The result, print it out in bigger type/font, instead of Profile, do Competencies/Experience and customize it. My resume is fine, the fact that I've got two job nibbles in this market is great. I breathe a sigh of relief.

While waiting for the evening's main event to kick off, I natter with some folks. I received compliments on my matching green glasses, loafers and adorable jacket. I felt a bit like a movie star.

I'm an optimistic person and I got a serious depressed and desperate vibe from the crowd. The men in particular looked beaten down and unhappy. It must suck to have the weight of supporting your family on your shoulders. I wanted to give them all big hugs and tell them that it would be alright.

I must have sounded like Pollyanna. Yuk!

We were given a list of 17 speakers and we were in for "Speed Networking". Tables were re-configured and each of the 17 speakers were seated at their table. We were to select 3 topics and find our speaker. We'd get twenty minutes with each, then we'd be switched.

My first topic was "Getting Hired By The Federal Government." This was particularly interesting because I learned that everything is different in government. Rather than a short resume, they want a long one with every single aspect of your job elaborated. Aha! That was great information!

My second topic was "How to Wow Your Interviewer." This also was illuminating as it took something that I do now (a leave-behind booklet of information) and showed me a way to really maximize it. When you get to the part of the interview where the interviewer asks, "Do you have any questions," instead of asking questions you say, "I've prepared something that I'd like to share with you, I'm taking a bit of a risk here, are you okay with that?" Then you whip out your bound, 4 page PowerPoint and show them that you understand their business, how you could contribute and specific things that you can do. If you get to a face to face interview, you are up against 7 other people, typically this means you have a 12.5% chance of getting the job. With this method it goes up to 46%. It's good enough for me to try.

The third topic, I was torn between "Negotiating your Salary" and "Interview Questions". I picked "Interview Questions" because it was the next closest table and the lady who helped me with my resume was the speaker. She was very nice, but I probably would have gotten more out of the negotiation topic.

It was after nine by the time it was all over and I was DRAINED.

I can't believe that they hold this event twice a month. I'm completely shattered from the crowd and the noise and the heat. It was good though, I won't deny that.

Applying what we read to our lives.

Tonight I'll be attending a networking event at a church. Oddly enough I got this tip from a lady at the bank who called to offer to open a Money Market account for us. Weird. But a good tip. The group meets twice a month and they have 140 volunteers who minister to the unemployed. The good news is that my ministering they don't quote Bible verses, but are in a position to offer advice on job searches, career changes and opening new businesses.

Although I appear to be fearless, I hate going someplace alone for the first time. It's intimidating. My rational mind knows that everyone there will be glad to see me, since they're putting on a rather elaborate show. But there's still that awkward feeling of encroaching on a private club.

I will push those feelings aside and soldier on though, I need to make some connections. According to the Outplacement Firm, the more people you talk to, the faster you "land" (a job). It's about 50-100 depending on the market and your skills. It's nice putting a number on it. Also, it's good to know that if I only talk to two people (interview) that my chances are slim that I'll get either of those jobs. It's the way it's working these days.

The weird thing about jobs is that about a year ago people were concerned that with all the boomers retiring that there would be a shortage of experienced professionals. That's where I was going to fit in! I'm at the very tail end of the baby boom, having been born in 1962. According to Outliers, I'm in a population trough. Thus, I have better chances of getting into good schools, getting into good jobs and in general having less competition for the stuff I want.

But, with Boomers's retirement accounts disappearing and general uneasiness in the economy, a lot of retirements have been deferred, so now I'm competing with a larger population of folks with skills and experience more vast than my own.

So, what do I do? Rather than puff myself up and bluster through an interview for a job that would be a reach, I scale back and try to slice about 15 years off of my resume and pass myself off as a Gen X'er. Why? Because I'd rather not have too much stress in my life right now. The thing that would best contribute to a lower stress life would be a good, steady job, with benefits, that is something that I could do blindfolded with one hand tied behind my back.

My goals for tonight's meeting are:

1. Have someone explain how my resumes are coming across.

2. Make some good contacts for job leads.

3. Have a good reason to get dressed up, made up and feelin' sassy!

I've got a new dress to break in!

Good Movies, Crap and that which does not hold up.

Movies that hold up:

These are movies that if I'm channel surfing, if they're on, that's it, I'm stuck watching them. If I catch it at the beginning, if I catch it in the middle, if it's the last five minutes, I'm done.

Certainly there are classics, but there are also movies that I love for absolutely no good reason. Smarmy romances, silly teen comedies, "you just had to be there" shows that I have no explanation for at all.

The Classics:

Casablanca: A stellar cast, a great story, a touch of hooyea and what can I tell you? It's the best movie ever. It's not the romance that's so interesting, but the play and interplay of the characters. Who's on the level? Who's not? Although everyone knows what happens and how the movie ends, you're on the edge of your seat through the end. It makes you wish you knew the words to The Marseilles so you can sing along. It also inspires you to try the most challenging fan fiction ever.

The Maltese Falcon: I love Dashiell Hammett, although if you read one of his stories you know right off that he's a huge alcoholic. You know how, when you're on a diet all you seem to want to talk about is food? Same thing only with alcohol. The Maltese Falcon has three of the cast members from Casablanca, so right there, you're on a winning streak. It also doesn't hurt that it takes place in San Francisco in the '30's. The sets are sumptuous, but realistic (rather than the ridiculous Fred and Ginger Deco extravaganzas.) The clothes are lovely, and the story sucks you right in. The best part is Bogart's speech to Mary Astor, about how he's not going to play the sap with her. As my father pointed out to me, it's the instruction manual for how to deal with relationships.

The Thin Man: Another Hammett story, with the fabulous Myrna Loy and William Powell. The story is okay, it's always a problem when you have to gather all the suspects in the room and then have fifteen minutes of exposition to explain the ending, but the mystery isn't the reason you watch. It's how Nick and Nora and Asta interact. It's all the characters and their motivations. It's seeing how it was in the thirties, for rich and poor, it's realistic and fantastic at the same time. When I grow up, I want to be Nora.

The Bandwagon: Okay, the Fred and Ginger movies are fun, but they're interchangeable. The Bandwagon has a story within the story and hilarious sight gags that do not hit you over the head. (The egg at the end of the "Damnation Scene" says it all.) The songs are great, the dancing is fun and the story is intelligent.

Singing in the Rain: I saw this in a film class because it was used as an illustration of how it was in the twenties when sound came to the movies.

Gone With The Wind: Scarlett O'Hara really needs to read: "He's Just Not That Into You." Still a great movie.

Giant: Elizabeth Taylor and Rock Hudson, looking beautiful on a Texas ranch. James Dean, chewing the scenery can't dampen my ardor for this amazing, extremely long movie.

Modern Classics:

The Right Stuff: As a kid born in 1962 it feels like my childhood. It's four hours long and I can tune it in any time.

The Godfather: Obviously and for obvious reasons.

All About Eve: If you've never seen this, hundreds of situation comedy plots make no sense to you.

Amadeus: Come on, Mozart as a goofball? F. Murray. Abraham? Who could resist?

The French Connection: "Popeye's here!" I just love that.

Taxi Driver: There is just something about New York movies in the seventies that is just so real and gritty and sad.

Five Easy Pieces: Jack Nicholson's best disaffected youth movie. It starts in Houston and ends on an island off the coast of Washington state. Karen Black is beautiful and sad as Rayette, "I'll go out with you, or I'll stay in with you, or I'll do anything that you like for me to do, if you tell me that you love me." "Okay, you can sing the song."

A Clockwork Orange: It's as fresh and relevant today as it was in 1971. Reading the book is as hard as reading Beowulf in Middle English, but totally worth it.

The Muppet Movie: Seriously, watch it again. It's awesome!

Terrible movies that I love:

Shag: It's the sixties and Four South Carolina girls ditch a tour of Fort Sumpter and go to Myrtle beach. It has Pheobe Cates and Bridget Fonda in it. It's mindless, but I never get tired of it.

Phantom of the Paradise: Brian DePalma's first feature. The music is amazing (written by Paul Williams) the cast is very good, considering that for most of them it was their first and last movie.

Sixteen Candles: Eventually we find Jake Ryan. I tried to screen this for my freshman English class and with a PG rating, I didn't think it would be a problem. Since when can people say "Fuck" about 700 times and show boobs in a PG movie?

Clueless: Actually, it's Emma, so it's okay.

Movies that DON'T hold up:

Great in their day and now completely unwatchable. Really disappointing.

Rocky Horror Picture Show: Considering that I've seen it a bazillion times when I went to the Sombrero Theatre in Phoenix between 1978 and 1981, you'd think I'd have more affection. Oddly enough, no. You really had to be there.

Tootsie: Unbearable! Cringe-worthy from start to finish. It might as well be Ishtar.

Grease: You think you like it, you remember liking it, and then the music starts and you look around the room wildly for something to occupy your time.

Harold and Maude: Aside from the considerable yuk factor, oh, never mind, this movie was never that good.

Arthur: Something about a sad alcoholic and his cheap girlfriend, even starting out the prospect isn't promising, factor in the physical comedy and Liza Minnelli and you've got a stinker from beginning to end. Did I really love this movie when it came out. Really?

Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Is it me or is that movie longer than Lawrence of Arabia now?

Logan's Run: I remember really liking this movie when I was a kid. In watching it recently I have to admit that it was only interesting for the first 30 minutes, the minute they go outside, I fell asleep.

The minute I post this, I'll think of more, but I'm interested in what you think.

Things I'll never figure out.

This morning I got a commission statement for my Feb 6 payment. I'll be getting commissions in dribs and drabs through March as everything tapers off.

Typically New Sales Revenue is paid 2 months behind, Total Billed Revenue is paid 3 months behind and there's an annual payment for Customer Satisfaction that's paid in March or April.

New Sales Revenue is paid on a Trimester basis, actual percentages month by month, and "trued-up" at the end of the Trimester, in this case December. So I was paid at 103% for three months, then I closed out the Trimester at 108%, so I'm owed an additional 5% for all four months. Not only that, but there are accelerators for any percentage over quota, so I get all that dough too. Complicated? You Bet! That's the point. If it were simple, you could actually challenge their computations. If it's so complex that it takes a Super-Computer to figure it out, you have a tendency to just take their word for it.

Total Billed Revenue is paid monthly and trued-up at the end of the year. In 2007 we had an account deck and our TBR was based on the performance of those accounts, in 2008 we were paid on the performance of the entire Signature Account Group. So in 2007 I was paid at 113% of my TBR (woo-hoo!) 2008 was dismal and I think that the final figure was 83%. BUT. If you leave the company, the policy is to give you 100% (rather than anything over that, with accelerators...) So it looks like I got all that dough, trued up for an entire year.

I've asked my compensation analyst to verify it for me, because, again, as I've said, this is really confusing!

The upshot is that I'm getting a rather large check in the next couple of days, one that I didn't expect. Yea!

Another thing I'll never figure out is how kids who are on American Idol don't understand how Hollywood Week works, in particular how group day works.

They get in groups and either professionally work and have a great audition, or they have drama and psychosis and have a horrible audition. But actually, it doesn't matter because if you're good, you're good and how the rest of your group does is rather immaterial. The task isn't "put together a great singing group." The task is actually, "deal with people and still come out smelling like a rose." So people stress and agonize over the idiots they're working with and lose sight of the big picture, which is, "be good."

Yet another thing I'll never figure out is how people on Hell's Kitchen, after 5 seasons, haven't been cooking the stuff on Ramsey's menu at home so that they're ahead of the game when they get to LA. Really? You don't know how to make risotto? I'm baffled.

Whoosh!

Well, the repair man came and fixed the washer, all things considered it was pretty cheap at $163.00.

Today I got two nibbles resulting in screening (phone) interviews. *Whew!*

At least now I know the resumes aren't going into a black hole somewhere.

Lauren is bringing the dog over to spend the day tomorrow. No particular reason, he keeps me company, our house provides him with a change.

So Mercury is out of retrograde and all the stuff that's been blocking up the universe is dislodging.

About freaking time!

The oldest story in the world, revenge of the machines.

I don't know what it was about devices and water yesterday, but hoo-boy, what a mess.

First, after transferring the jeans from the washer to the dryer, I heard a very loud thumping in the dryer. Exasperated from the constant removal of items from the pockets of James's clothing, primarily money, I had James go check it out. Turns out we washed his phone. Yes, the phone was a cheap-o Nokia, but still, it performed perfectly fine for the 4 calls James made per month on it. So now we must buy a new phone.

Then, as I was checking up on the load of darks I notice that there's water all over the basement. Great. I thought I had left a sock dangling between the drum and the door, allowing water to wick out onto the basement floor. It was something like that. Apparently the arm of one of James's shirts got stuck between the drum, the door and the gasket. So not only did water get out of the washer, but the entire gasket and the arm of the shirt became tangled and as the drum rotated, the action of the shirt and the gasket tightening caused the gasket to pull away from the washer. So I pull out a clump of clothes, untangle the shirt from the gasket, the metal fittings that hold the gasket in the washer and about $3.00 in quarters. Oh, and the clothes are all soaking wet.

After about 2 hours in the dryer, the clothes dried. The shirt in question was ruined, and I had two loads of laundry to take to the coin laundry on the way to the gym.

I called Whirlpool and they'll send someone out tomorrow between 8:00 AM and 5:00 PM. Convenient. Also, goodness knows how much this will cost. James says, "Well don't worry about it, that's what an emergency fund is for." Good point.

There's a "Book of Dreams" that people who play the numbers/lottery use to pick their numbers. My question is, what is the number for machines and water?