You can give 2008 back to the Indians

To paraphrase Pauly Walnuts.

Can't really say that this has been a banner year for me. Although, James is doing really well, so maybe I'm being too harsh.

This jobless thing is driving me slowly crazy. I've applied for 68 jobs since I found out that I was being "released" and I've got 3 emails back saying that the jobs I've applied for have been filled or cancelled.

So there are jobs being posted every day, including Christmas, but I'm getting exactly zero calls or inquiries on my applications. I called the "outplacement" firm (I'm SO getting into these euphemisms.) They don't have my paperwork, but they'll be getting back to me. I asked, "what are you going to do for me?"

Apparently they're going to be helping me with my resume and networking skills. Oh. Do I need that? I used to have a resume writing service and I'd make $100 a pop doing other people's resumes. I have a fairly extensive network. Please tell me I don't have to start going to Rotary Club breakfasts...

But you never know. I was out of the loop when everyone stopped wearing pantyhose, maybe my stuff is rusty.

Of course I had no expectations that anyone would be doing anything before next week. But with 65 still active job inquiries, it's hard not to be just a hair paranoid.

At any rate, I am sitting here in my Minnie Mouse pjs, wishing that someone would make me breakfast.

It's really all over

B0y! I can say that about so much.

Christmas is really all over. Have I mentioned lately how much I hate Christmas? I hate the fact that everyone over-compensates for whatever they missed in the year. While I love the family, I hate the get together that we have every year. We trudge up to KY, exchange presents in a ritual that is getting more and more intense and then turn around and come home again to an empty, quiet house. James and I enjoyed our holiday together though. I made a traditional dinner and we watched Holiday Inn.

The other thing that's really all over is my career at BellSouth and the Death Star. I wiped clean my computer. I deleted documents and email that I've had for over 5 years. I removed cookies from my browser. I compressed and defragged the disks. I've got my Out-of-Office assistant sending a message out to all who didn't get the memo, that I'm gone and there aren't a lot of options if you need soemthing from me.

There is something really, really final about zero emails in your inbox and no personal folders.

I've got all of my important stuff on a thumb drive. Examples of my work in PowerPoint, spreadsheets, 16 iterations of my resume, plus a resume or two for friends and relatives. Cover letters, budgets, account information. It's all on that drive. I should probably upload the stuff onto the hard drive huh? Yeah, after my nap maybe.

So that's it. It ends with a wimper, not a bang.

Where did the day go?

I got up this AM and felt pretty decent. Not great, but for the first time in a week, I didn't feel the need to bring the box of Kleenex with me all over the house.

I didn't have much to do for work, it's Christmas week and whoever remains has to use their vacation time or lose it, so I have a feeling that those of us who are leaving are going to close the door with a minimum of fanfare. Our HR person wants us to do some reports for the five days in Dec that we're on quota. Why bother? I mean really. Just more paperwork to do for no good reason. Whatever. I'm short-timing it.

I saw my therapist today and I don't know if I'm blue about the job thing, or if it's my cold, but she said that I was a completely different person. Very subdued. I do wind-down occasionally. I need my Energizer replaced!

Summer might come with her daughter for a few days after Christmas. We've got King Tut through May and we saw some of it in Dallas, but I'm not opposed to seeing more of it at the civic center, especially with her daughter, that should be cool. I just hope we don't have heinous crowds. I hate being pushed and shoved.

At any rate, just trying to get my game face on for Christmas. I went to the grocery store today. I usually go on Sunday, but I didn't feel like leaving the house, so I went today while I was out. The Kroger at Toco Hills has a bunch of Kosher stuff, including a Rabbi with a hairnet on his beard cutting meat at the butcher shop. It was nice, but I wouldn't want to shop their regularly. They might have a bunch of Kosher stuff, but I like my new age, organics better.

Traffic was a mess no matter where I went and it took forever go get from Decatur back to Chamblee. There's no good reason for this!

So we're snug as bugs in our rugs here in the basement. I've got the heat up to 70.

Fun?

Howdy hi neighboreenos!

I sat down to start writing a manual and Scissors hit it right on the head, there's no way I can do it without really getting involved and I'm just a bit too under the weather to deal with it.

I got an idea to do book proposals and sample chapter submissions of the two unfinished novels I have. Hopefully I'll get some decent response, either helpful critique or encouragement, that will tell me that I'm on the right track with the chick lit thing.

About two years ago I submitted a proposal and sample chapter to Harlequin of a changed up "Bed and Breakfast Man" (as in changed the names) and got a very nice personalized letter saying that it was good, but not right for their particular imprint. (I misunderstood the idea of the imprint. They wanted a romance from beginning through old age, in 150k words. Not really where I was going with my work.)

I have had some terrible writers block and I've hit this wall before. I get inspired, write a storm and then just stop. A couple of years later, KAZAM, it's back. So who knows, maybe I'm due soon.

I thought that my Celexa was dampening my "fun" but it's not that. I've gone on the wagon with mindless shopping and eating and such and there's nothing really to fill the void. When I rehabbed my condo in '94 I had projects to fill my time. When I was spending money, I would plan house projects, buy new outfits and plan vacations. Now that I've decided to live cheaply, a huge part of my imagination is turned off.

We went to the library, but it was hard to find books that appealed to me. When I flew to Pittsburgh every other week I'd read about 10 new books a month. I'd buy them wherever I could find them. Now, I'm mindful. I borrow books, and there aren't that many I want to read.

I was hoping going back to school would jump-start me, but that's off now. I got my refund check in the mail today.

Okay, maybe after Christmas and after I'm released from the Death Star I'll perk up.

All my love to my readers. May everyone feel better and have a wonderful Yule, Christmas, Kwanza and Channukah.

I feel like crap, must be Christmas

James brought home a cold. He felt like crap for about 72 hours, I'm going on a week. Last night we went out for Chinese food because the place around the corner from our house makes a wicked spicy hot noodle soup. It's like of like war mein, but red with chili paste. Our waitress, who speaks very little English said, "Korean." Uh huh. So I ate a little bit of it last night, ending with the spoonful of soup that burned all the way down my esophagus, taking the rest home to eat for lunch just now. The spices release endorphins, which make me feel better, and the irritate my mucus membranes which unstuff my sinuses. So yea!

As Christmas approaches things in the job area are slowing down. I do check the USAjobs board daily and pretty much find something to apply for every day. Government takes a long time, and I suspect that if it's a numbers game, you've got to do about 100 submissions before you even get noticed. Not only that but the rigamorole you've got to do is insane. Some jobs require a questionaire with essay questions on it. Some you have to fax your transcripts in. Some jobs they're only considering the first 50 applicants, so no matter how qualified you are, if you aren't in the first 50 submissions, you don't get a crack at the job. But I have nothing but time on my hands and a whole lot of nothing to do with it, so why not jump through the flaming hoops? It might pay off. They have to hire someone, why not me?

Not only did they fire the BellSouth Account Executives, they fired the Technical Service Consultants. It's madness I tells you! Our job as AE's is to understand what the customer needs, work with TSC to design and price it, and to submit the orders through the correct systems.

The people who ostensibly will be doing this when we go are CSS/FMS (I don't know what the letters stand for.) At some point training in the old BellSouth systems, products, pricing tools and contracts was offered, but most folks decided to let those of us who were the experts just go ahead and do the job for them.

You can see where this is going right? So we're all gone as of the 29th. In fact we have a party planned. We're going into the office to clean our desks and turn in our IDs, Entry Cards, Laptops, Blackberries, company owned cell phones, credit cards and do our 'exit interviews.' Why are they bothering with an exit interview?

So what happens on Dec 30? A bunch of CSS/FMS realized that they are so far from screwed that it takes the light from screwed 10 years to find them. As it is I have a group in Phoenix calling me all day long asking for service quotes and location confirmations because they hired a bunch of kids to call into our customers to win them back to the death star, but they don't have any computer systems or pricing tools. (What is the point I ask you?) I also have a couple of CSSs calling me asking me to help them with the pricing tool, since it's the first time they've used it. They also want to know where to get the contracts, what the promotions are, how do they get into the customer contract system, in general they see the iceberg ahead and they're trying to steer clear.

So I have a cunundrum. Do I just smile and bide my time, waving good-bye from shore with my other penguine friends, or do I actually do something helpful like write a manual with quick and dirty information on how to deal with everything?

I'm kind of bored and I'm running for sainthood, so I'm thinking very seriously of putting something together for the poor souls. On the other hand, what would be more rewarding than having my customers call me on my personal cell phone (which is the number they all have) with reports of the carnage? What to do? What to do?

My Day

7:30: The alarm goes off and James gets his day started. I usually loll around in bed, listening to NPR and snoozing.

8:00: I get out of bed and jump into my gym clothes. It's off to the gym to do the bare minimum of exercise to keep me from turning into Jabba the Hut. It's not working all that well.

9:00: Back home. I go downstairs and check my email, check the job boards, apply to jobs and boot up my work computer to see what's going on there.

10:00: People's Court comes on. I turn on the TV and get breakfast. Usually coffee and a bagel. Yum! Lots and lots of Free Cell and Blast Billiards fill my time.

11:00: If it's a Law and Order CI that I haven't seen 200 times, I might watch that, if I have errands to run I go upstairs to shower and such.

12:00: Either I'm out at the grocery store, the post office or any other reason to leave the house. If I'm not leaving the house, then I watch assorted inferior court shows and continue to play on the computer. Most of the afternoon continues in this fashion.

4:00: Oprah or Judge Judy, it just depends on which one looks better.

5:00: Dr. Phil, or Dragnet and Adam 12. I usually start dinner around this time. Things I've been known to cook:

Jambalaya from a Box
Columbian Snapper, from scratch
Baked chicken and rice
Pork chops, sweet potatoes and rice
Red Beans and Rice with sausage
Japanese Curry
Meat in mojo with black beans and rice
Steak and baked potatoes
Meatloaf
Spaghetti and meatballs
Lasagne

Sound good? Meh.

6:15: James comes home and we eat dinner. I change things up a bit and watch television for the rest of the evening.

God, I hope I get a job soon.

Vacation in Place

I canceled my vacation. Why? Let them pay me for it. I wasn't going to go anywhere anyway, so I'll just vacation in place. I've informed all the people that I work with that I'm o-u-t and fat chance getting me to help with anything. Instead I've given them the webform address to file their own orders, the customer service numbers and email address. If I'm so darn expendable, they can start making due without me now.

Oh, that sounded bitter. I'm really not. I spoke with my boss Walter today. He said that his boss is really thrown for a loop about getting canned. She's the one that was so willing to throw us to the wolves, but it's not so funny when it happens to her. His counterpart was also let go; she cried in his office. Cried? Really? Over a phone company job?

I guess I might have been that upset too, about ten years ago when I gave a shit. In the intervening time I've learned not to invest in my career. Seriously, it doesn't pay.

One of the folks on my team went overboard learning all the new products, pricing tools, services, etc. I didn't even try. I had enough going on with the stuff I knew, I called myself the "Keeper of the Old Knowledge." At the end of the day, we're both just as unemployed, and I didn't waste any time or brain cells trying to learn a bunch of new stuff.

I'm networking like crazy. It helps that I have no pride and I'll take pretty much anything. I'm aiming for Executive/Admin assistant jobs. I can use all my skills, but again, no harming my brain cells.

I've applied for jobs at Delta, Coke, Home Depot, Lockheed, the Federal Government, Atlanta Public Schools, Kaiser, and pretty much every hospital in a 10 mile radius. They're posting jobs, but I don't think they'll be doing much hiring until after the holidays. Of course this is making me paranoid crazy. I just think that I should be getting some calls, but no. Crickets.

I called the outplacement firm that's part of my separation benefits. They can't talk to me until after seven days. There's a seven day revocation period. Uh. Okay. I'm not revoking anything. I sure hope they don't.

I'm still processing the whole thing. I think that once I get a new job, that I'll actually get that, "I've won the lottery" feeling that I know I should be feeling.

Redundant. Surplus. Laid Off. Jobless. Unempolyed. A statistic.

Just as I thought, this morning I was "surplussed." No room for me at the phone company any more. Before you feel sorry for me, I got the good package. My last day will be December 29. They'll keep my benefits going for 6 months, then I can do Cobra. Hopefully, I'll get a job before then.

On Thursday I went to the IRS to do the document verification and fingerprinting portion of the long, drawn out process of becoming a federal employee.

This was really weird. There were two positions, one a Tax Examiner the other a clerk scanning documents all day. The Tax Examiner is a permanent position, but seasonal. So you have the job, and benefits, but you only work 8 months out of the year. I'd rather get the Budget Analyst position, which is full time, permanent, but beggars can't be choosers. I don't think I'll do the clerk job, even if they offer it to me. It sounds too horrible.

At any rate there were about 50 of us at each of the two sessions, the AM session for the Tax Examiner position and the PM session for the clerk position. You show up 30 minutes early and stand around with 49 other applicants. Most wearing their interview clothes. Why? I don't know. No interviews going on on fingerprinting day. They lead us into a training room and we sat, going through the 5 forms you need to have filled out and brought with you (one set for each job.) You go through them for an hour while an HR person explains what's needed. They supply forms for those who left them at home, those who didn't fill them out correctly and for those who didn't read the part of the email instructing them to download the forms. The we line up, get our forms checked, our I-9 filled out by having our 2 forms of ID checked and we're herded down to the room with the electronic fingerprinting equipment. Then I went home. Did some work, drove back to the IRS and did it all over again for the second job. Good times.

I've talked to a lot of people about my lay off. I'm okay with it. One of my co-workers wanted to see if she could get more money by making a stink about the fact that we might have been discriminated against. I believe that we were (being the ex-BellSouth folks) but at the end of the day, I don't care. I'm happy to go. That company stank. If I end up being a secretary somewhere, that's all good.

Oh, and if you have any leads, pass them on. I'll take what I can get!